Minecraft [RE-OPEN] Experium Build Team Application

Don't forget either that when Spxm left, I, Appul and Vierra just lost faith in the team. Let me cut to the chase here and admit what I was trying to do.

While, yes, my number one priority was the build team, I slowly tried to integrate the team with the server, despite Toby and (you)Jack saying we should be a freelance team and work for multiple servers. I migrated my main focus to the server and began to neglect the team as time and time again I was told that the server was down, needed fixing, etc..
When I put Toby in charge (as a Celestial, same rank as me), I expected something to come out of it, Toby already knew at the time that my focus was on the server and I couldn't spend as much time as I used to on the team, so I gave him a lead (with Spxm). I knew I couldn't stay in the build team as I couldn't produce as I wanted to, so I resigned, but I still kept myself integrated.When I saw that EXBT had been failing, I blamed inactivity, which partially was true, so I created a new team, a micro-team to salvage the scraps of EXBT. The Elite Experium Build Team. In it's 2 month lifetime, it created 0 builds and was ended corruptly.
Continuing with what I said in my first statement, Spxm leaving was just a huge blow, but we all knew it was for the better. Being honest, Spxm, Toby and I were such a strong mold that we kept the team together. When Spxm left, there was just missing talent and everyone knew it, and replacing him would be practically impossible as that kind of leadership has never been shown to the team as I had lacked it myself. I asked you (Jack) for help as you had constant concerns for the team, which ultimately made you a perfect replacement for Spxm, but you can't exactly blame me for the team falling apart either. My resignation would ultimately lead to you and Toby to lead it. A dead team. I hadn't seen one day since July of this year that the team felt motivated to do something, but in no offence to you, besides 1 meeting with the team in which barely 4 people attended, you didn't try to motivate the team either, you even promised to get the team more active, and you didn't.

I don't think I have a huge ego, I just lacked confidence in myself as I was surrounded by people better than me (Appul, Vierra, Spxm, etc.) so looking big was just my natural response. It cost me my Helper rank, a team and some friends.

An active build team should meet 3 requirements;
1. Should provide 1 build per 2 weeks.
2. Should have a daily 4 players.
3. Should be recognised as a creditable build team.
5/8 of the 8 months the team really existed met those requirements.

My recent give up for my build team, my community and my server will leave a dent in my heart until the day I die. I guess I am sorry, but I don't really know what to be sorry for.