one year without resigning, reflecting on the past three

Discussion in 'Server Discussion' started by Davey, Feb 2, 2021.

  1. Davey

    Davey Staff Member Moderator

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    i've been mod on my third time, without resigning, for a whole year. that's a RECORD considering my first time as staff didn't last more than 4 months, and second time was a mere 1 month iirc.

    it's been one year since i got helper for the second time, two years since i resigned, and almost three years since i submitted my first staff application. i was 14 when i first got staff, and now i'm 17. this isn't a lot of time considering other staff have been here for much longer, but it just feels like the time has flown by. and other than the fact that fake leaking an ip just to get banned isn't a good way to depart from the server, i've learned a lot of stuff over these past few years, server related and not, and i just wanna reflect on that:

    - i used to criticize those who were staff but inactive. my reasoning was, "well why even be staff if you won't log in? or do anything?" but now i've learned different. it's okay to be inactive, it's okay to have a side hobby like this. even if it's only once a week or every two weeks, it's fine to not always be doing something. i had this mindset during a time where i was online for around 12 hours a day for a couple months straight, which isn't healthy. but now i understand (pretty clearly because i barely play) that it's okay to not put your all into a minecraft server, but you can still appreciate having the hobby at the same time.

    - it is very possible to have a real life social life while being a mod on a minecraft server. this was somewhat attached to my though process above. i would never hang out with my friends, was depressed as hell because of it. i would wake up, get on minecraft, stay on all day, and go to bed. it wasn't until after my second term of staff that it's very possible to still be involved and have a social life outside of minecraft. before covid hit, i had been hanging out with friends more than ever, had a girlfriend, and still played and contributed to j&h. not as much as i did before, but that's a good thing in my opinion.

    - having a job at mcdonald's landed me a spot in spawn, but also showed me that skills i learned on j&h can be applied to real life. before i was here, i had never had experience working in large teams, good communication skills, or any of that. but as soon as i landed my job, i was able to work well with everyone and i knew almost exactly how things worked right off the bat.

    - it's a very important thing to stand your ground on a topic you believe in, even if it causes arguments or any sort of malice. you aren't always going to like everyone you work with (no i don't dislike anyone on the staff team currently but i have in the past), but you still have to work with them in order for progression to occur. hiccups are a natural thing with progression. nothing will always go as smooth as you want.

    - relating to the above statement, relationships are always subject to change. i've met a lot of people in my three years here. people i've hated three years ago are good friends of mine now, and vice versa. this is something in life that i've learned to accept, and though it's hard, it can always change in the blink of an eye. nothing is set in stone forever, but the way you chose to handle different people and the way your beliefs change over time will determine who's by your side.

    - some of my best friends, or many who i consider my best friends, i've met on j&h, and other general places online. you don't need to physically be there for someone when they need you emotionally or mentally, which most of the time is the most important.

    - words are powerful. i've said things over the years that have hurt people. i've had things said to me that hurt me. hell, the only reason i'm even still staff right now is because someone two years ago told me "you'll never get mod+". and i've wanted to quit, and temporarily have a few times, but i keep coming back due to this phrase. i want to prove them wrong, and i'm still determined to do that. even if it's not anytime soon, i'm always going to be trying at one point or another. along with this, people will remember what you say to them, how you said it, the time you said it, where you both were, everything. so chose what you say lightly.

    - maturity is unavoidable and you shouldn't stall it's approach. change is going to happen, in who's around you, your behaviors, your routines, etc. everything is going to evolve, and keep in mind that no matter how you feel about it, as long as time is moving forward, you are evolving. you will move past any hardships and get through everything you don't think you'll be able to.

    so this was just a mindless thing for a while. sorry for wasting your time but i've been wanting to make a big ol thread for a while. have a good night.
     
  2. Smg

    Smg Retired | Also known as 'Phaithful' Donator

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    Very happy for you having reached this level of inner clarity and understanding, Davey. I, too, admit that I fell into the trap of feeling guilty during the latter part of my tenure, especially as I was nearing the end in 2019. But I think my decision of resigning was actually the right move for me - because I haven't really been all that interested or had the motivation to play Minecraft even on a small-consistent basis ever since. I've tried to get back into the game, but IRL duties with school and work, as well as simply having other interests, have kept me occupied otherwise.

    Even though it's been a while, I am also very grateful for having been staff for a long time. It's definitely a great experience for someone young who's looking to get a basic view of what it's like to work in a sorta-proper field with powers of their own, especially within a team with others.

    Having motivation to want to reach the next level, the next stage, is a great thing to have. Don't let others put you down or say mean things to you about your desires and wishes to become better and achieve the next rank or role in your position. We all strive for different things, and that's perfectly okay. I also agree that maturity is, mostly, unavoidable. I'm certain I would've matured in some shape or form had I not decided to pursue a staff rank on this network, but the privilege of being allowed to staff and help out this community in any way possible really helped me grow as my own person.

    We haven't spoken in a while, but I hope life outside of here is treating you well. As to everyone else who may be reading this thread and my reply. I hold nothing but love and appreciation for you all.