Reasons to Live

Discussion in 'Real life stuff' started by Dream_Addict, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. Dream_Addict

    Dream_Addict Stardust Smoker Staff Member Moderator

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    Hey all it's midnight on Sunday which constitutes a bad decision before sleepy time. Quickly (didn't end up as quick as I'd imagined it'd be in my head), I'll tell you about myself. I am basically semi-retarded, actually have the worst time management skills you've ever met, and if you were reading a book about me you'd think I had a kink for fucking up my own life.

    Most of my life is irrelevant to this post, so I'll sum it up as a pretty good time to be alive. I had the bumps in life pre-High School, had experienced childhood love rejection and also had some fucking great times with friends, probably things we can all relate to and are typical to children. But, start of High School, which is where our story starts, I thought for some reason I'd mesh well with something called the IB program, which is basically a somewhat "prestigious" (bleh) academic program you can take in High School. I should have known it would not work, but I'm me and that means I'm incapable of making the right decision so hey, what did you expect? At this time, I was addicted to League of Legends and literally stayed up half the night every night playing it due to the fact that A: I was not allowed to get caught playing it so daytime was off limits and B: my house has shit wifi and I couldn't play it if anyone else was on. Long story-short, I was the kind of kid who tried to miss as much school as he could get away with, was failing all the classes that mattered, and also, a bit unfortunately, hadn't hit puberty yet (even at the ripe age of 14) so I was 5 foot 1 inch and 120 pounds which, as all good movies might back up, made me the target of bullying. During this time I spent a lot of time crying in a bathtub, really lost my faith in God, the respect of my friends, the girl I liked, my parents, and most importantly, myself. This was the trough of my life basically, wherein my retardation finally bit me in the ass. I dropped out of school, became anti-social af, and was something like suicidal (another bleh, because I agree that it's a word that is meant to grab attention, and that's not the point of this, but I swear we're getting there).
    My point in all this is to illustrate to you all a moment in my life where I was incapable of thinking clearly. I mean by this that in the moment, given the circumstances of one's life, it can be incredibly difficult to put things into perspective and to realize the potential of time. When we're sad enough, we think we'll be sad forever, and when we're happy, all feelings about the future are positive. This, we need to tell ourselves, especially in moments of struggle, is a lie, a fallacy of our biology. So, as someone who has come out on the other side as a person 10 times stronger and 10 times smarter, heed these fucking words. There are millions upon millions of reasons to live. To try at life. To get off our asses and run a mile and to study for a test and to laugh at the Devil because you are so damn strong you don't even know. That being said...

    Here are some of the things you won't be able to do when you're fucking dead:

    • Drink coffee.
    • Tell your little brother for the 5th time to sit down when he goes pee-God dammit.
    • Eat sushi, or Thai food, or your mother's soup, or any food, actually. You're dead.
    • Play sports with your friends. You like basketball? Survey says it's easier to play when you have a beating heart.
    • Have friends, at all, possibly one of the greatest gifts us unspectacular humans have. What's that? You don't have any friends? Cool story-killing yourself will make that a reality for eternity.
    • Have a crush on a girl/boy. You know that feeling you get when you feel like he/she might just like you? Yea you won't get that. You also won't ever get that sad disappointment that follows that initial ecstasy like 2 weeks later when you tell yourself you never had a chance anyway. Speaking of which-
    • Go on a date. Yea, that thing you dream about but haven't ever gone on. You're like 14 years old, give it some time.
    • Lincoln Logs, Dinosaurs, and Hot Wheels.
    • Laugh so damn hard that you can't breath.
    • Pet your dog.
    • Try to pet a stray cat already knowing it damn well doesn't want to be associated with you.
    • Become a grandpa.
    • Hear your hard-ass dad tell you on one rainy night that he's proud of you.
    Listen I know I took a lot of the good ones but even so I left like 1000000000 other really good ones out there. Please add to this list, and it's okay if you want to repeat shit. A reason to live is a reason to live.

    I'm always happy to talk or answer questions through PM.
    Chilla, ApricotPrince, hmj and 8 others like this.
  2. TheMint

    TheMint Former Mοd+ Donator

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    Love this thread man. The way you word your sentences is genuinely fascinating. Don't feel sorry for yourself, you'll reach the stars too.
    Soap, Northie and JokerBen like this.
  3. NoThisIsAmanda

    NoThisIsAmanda a mess Donator

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    this thread is amazing dude. so proud of u, you're so strong
    Dream_Addict likes this.
  4. Soap

    Soap Staff Member Moderator

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    Stay strong my guy ❤️
    Dream_Addict likes this.
  5. ApricotPrince

    ApricotPrince Mclane

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    I honestly relate to a lot of this in some ways. Thanks for sharing it, and I'm glad you're still here. We're all stronger than we think we are.
    One of the best feelings ever is discovering new music that you really like, and you can't experience that if you're dead.
    Dream_Addict likes this.
  6. lyrehs

    lyrehs Donator

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    biggest rule of school:
    never attempt the IB baccalaureate unless you are completely sure you are going to study every day and basically drop what you used to love doing for the whole course.
    if you are trying to impress people by doing it, don’t. it’s not worth the money or time if you’re not going to put in all your energy/effort when you can easily do the normal courses the school provides and get better grades

    what you can’t do when you’re fucking dead:

    tell your pets you love them

    trying to enjoy the little things every day and making yourself feel less shit, even though you still want to cry and scream at everything every day

    watching your favorite shows over and over

    playing your favorite video games on your own, or with other people

    seeing your favorite people. doesn’t have to be a crush/SO
    Dream_Addict and hmj like this.
  7. hmj

    hmj Resigned Donator

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    that's why i fucking love you muff. there's nothing else i have to say, i just love you for making this thread


    i am currently going through ib high school myself and i fucking hate it::) very bad decision i made
    very not worth it
    lyrehs, Dream_Addict and Soap like this.
  8. lyrehs

    lyrehs Donator

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    my old school fuckin took me out of it because i was struggling in psychology
    i wasn’t even in the full course
    hmj likes this.