Okay, for real... What is love? (Debate)

Oh wow, I'm making another thread for the first time in a while.
So recently I've been trying to finalize my views on the world. It is my belief that everything has one objective truth, and I seek to find this objective truth. A big one that I've been considering is the subject of love.
This debate's question is does love exist? And if so, what is the definition of love? (if I get any Haddaway references, I'll be somewhat disappointed)

I'm going to be taking the side that love does not exist, and it is not possible for it to exist even if we wanted it to. Why? The spoiler explains it.

Spoiler

So, let's assume that the hypothetical definition of love is "willing the good of another," as Aquinas might define it. This seems like a sensible definition of the concept. One who "loves" someone else would do anything to achieve that person's benefit for the sole reason that it would help that person, and for no other reason. In other words, if I were to love my friend, and he looked hungry, I would make him a sandwich for no other reason that I want him to be sated and not have to expend his own energy in making it himself.
This is impossible. Humans are selfish beings by nature. Everything that we choose has an end, an intent. What we do is always evaluated by our consciousness for its results. These results are always in some way beneficial to us. It is this selfishness that has allowed the human race to survive as long as it as, as well as other races along with it. When I make my sandwich for my friend, it is because it is a social norm to do so, and my brain would subconsciously desire to keep with the social norm.
It is also the brain's desire to have someone wish for the betterment of the person. This would result in benefits for the person, which satisfies the consciousness. As such, we say that we "love" a spouse because we desire love in return. This is is main driving force behind it. There is a reason that most logical people will not "love" someone that does not return these feelings. It is because their wishes for that person's betterment provide no gain to the original person.
So if all attempts to love are caused by an underlying motive of personal benefit, and the opposite is not possible, the only relational conclusion is that love as we know it cannot exist. It is a trick of the brain that is only there for its own desire of betterment. If love did exist on earth, then the lover would be dead, for they would have given everything, even their life, for the sake of others around them (as they would have no motivation in their love, not even for their own survival).
It is my conclusion that love does not and cannot exist.

If you agree, say so. If you disagree, say so. If you want to contribute your own ideas, feel free to explain why you feel that way.
That is all.

 

I agree with your ideas.

 

I don't know what love feels like tbh
#Single Amarite

 

It feels strange to be in love. :|

 

can yu do my English assignments plz

 

Not just your english assignments, let him do all of your homework o.o
+ mine too pweez >: )

 

Well, this idea of love is somewhat flawed. It takes human emotions into simplistic black and white ideals. Due to this, the idea of altruism is put into either a Jesus-like altruism, or extreme selfishness. All animals, especially social mammals like our selves, have a more grey sense of altruism. We especially, strive off our relationship with other human beings. Deprive a man if these social aspects of life, and he goes insane, but have him with no privacy, he does the same. Having "love", from an evolutionary standpoint, calls back to the days where we were hunter gatherers/foragers and needed to support each other to survive. Selfish people wouldn't be productive members of society. Having altrustic relationships, or love, made those societies properly function. Coming back to today, love takes the form of a sentimental value, we like the presence of certain people and feel compelled to help them based on that evolutionary trait. Your part of receiving love, I feel is true, but I don't believe the personal gain is the motivation. Not many people will be completely altruistic, that's detrimental to their health, and not productive. Most people aren't completely selfish either. They often are deprived if contact to other humans and develop problems down the road. Love, along with most emotions, exists in the grey area that's often hard to comprehend.

 

It's all chemical reactions within our brain. It releases chemicals like dopamine which makes us feel good, or vice versa. Pff science. Love is an emotion where we feel an attraction towards another. But to properly answer the question I would have to say, Baby don't hurt me, no more.

I could go into super detail but Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

 

Omg I actually had to do something to do with Aquinas' teachings in an exam today.

In a class at school, we had a presenter talk about love and relationships which has influenced me to design my following answer.
This is just a theory.
There's been so many definitions of love. Is there an exact and accurate definition of love? No. Love is different for everyone. For some, love might be trust, humour, commitment, physical attraction, etc. If someone meets up to another's expectations for love, the another will 'love' them. Love is not so much a thing itself. It's more so something made up within ourselves and it is only felt when a desirable connection is found.
Example: I love @BlueJeansToGo because she has a really adorable laugh, she's beautiful and has a great sense of humour.
And, she aint a dumb shit like @Devin610
jk devin love u long tim

 

A good book that talks about this topic and the several types of love is ''Four Loves'' by C. S. Lewis. Anyways, I don't agree with your logic because it goes upon a very basic explanation of what love is and what a human being is.

To start off, I don't think humans are selfish beings by nature, that's what irrational animals are, selfish. Not the type of selfishness that us Humans understand, because for there to be selfishness, there would have to be thought and knowledge of what good and bad is by the animal, which does not occur. Instead of that, they are selfish to the point where they do things for survival.

If a Lion is with his little lion son, almost dying of starvation, and is presented with a big steak that will assure its survival, the Lion will, by instinct, eat the steak, leaving it's little kid to die. With humans, this will most likely not happen. If a father is with his son and is presented with something that will assure one's survival, the father will most likely want the son to have it. This happens because humans unlike animals are rational beings and have more complex systems of emotions and what not. This is why I think your logic is incorrect from the beginning. Humans are not naturally selfish, there are actions that people do that are not made with the intent of self-rewarding the individual, an example of this could be volunteer work that people do around the world for the benefit of others. And I can tell you first hand, from a volunteer, that the reward that you get is great. Knowing that you got to help someone in need, without expecting something back, is rewarding in its own way, and we didn't do it for that purpose, to feel good about ourselves, but with the main objective of helping individuals in need.

Anyways, I think love exist, but in it's own way. Saying that love doesn't exist, in my opinion, would be sort of impossible, because you experience love reactions everyday, for example when you see your girlfriend, when realize how much your mother and father mean to you, when you kiss a girl, when you hug a friend, etc.

Love is always around us, so I don't know how one can claim it doesn't exist. It might not exist in the sense of being a physical good or a touchable thing, but it is there. I'm sure everybody has felt love at least once on their lifetime. Even if one claims that love is forged by chemicals in the brain, it is still a thing you feel, something that can go on for years towards a special someone, even if sometimes it is not mutual. Love, being it transcendent or simply some chemicals in the brain, is a reaction with several ''symptoms'' in which can be evaluated as so.

To counter the part ''if love existed'', in my opinion, if love didn't exist, none of us would be here chatting right now. Because love is something that humans feel, something found in rational beings, humans. No animal feels love, they may feel attraction due to characteristics, like the peacock with the most beautiful feathers, the strongest monkey, the deer with the most dazzling horns, whatever you want. But love is felt by humans, and if love wasn't there, humans wouldn't be a rational beings for starters, they would be driven by physical characteristics, by instincts, and the next generations would be seen from the point of view of maintaining the species and with the fittest characteristics.

So, in my opinion, love does exists for humans. Call it whatever you want, but I see the willingness to help another individual as love, as you put that persons interest in front of your own. This is my opinion though :)

 

Pretty much almost everything that Willy said, goodjob man.
I do like to add though that I think animals do feel love, or at least I hope so.

 

TMW you got something to say but it's the first day of school and you gtg.

 

They do my dog was in love with another dog and it was love because whenever he had to leave her he barked a lot all the time and when she came over he always ran around in circles, and stuff.

 

I agree completely with this . . .
Human's aren't selfish by nature, and my definition of love (basically the same as Willy's) Selflessly giving and wanting the best for another. Greater love hath no man than this: that one lay down his life for his friends. There are many stories showing this love: http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-n...f/2015/08/father_dies_saving_his_son_fro.html
And this other one: http://thefallen.militarytimes.com/army-sgt-christopher-a-sanders/3306836 This guy is actually my cousin. He selflessly served in the United States Army in order to save innocent lives...

There are thousands of more examples and proof of love, but I am just gonna leave it at those two...

 

In my eyes, love, in the most basic terms, just means to accept one another, and to not accept harm as a way to solve problems. It can be shown on a multitude of levels and, lets be real, sometimes can lead to coitus. Backing off from that statement, I think we shouldn't be asking "What is love", but instead ask "Where is the love?". We've been in constant war & occupation for 14 years, and war has raged the middle east for much longer. Syria has chemmed young. Not only that, but in America, we have shootings every week, people dying in jails, heavy police brutality. So, where is the love? We should be asking ourselves what problems we have with our life, and how we can solve with acceptance and love instead of anger & hate.

 

baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.









IM SORRY BUT SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT

 

im not gonna use any of yo fancy words to explain "love" but pretty much willy explained it all.

I believen love but...

I believen love for the personality of the person, to me if someone likes he/she for the looks and JUST the looks then that isn't true love that is using he/she for beauty

If someone likes he/she for personality and the looks then I believen that.

 

Before I say anything, I would like to mention that everyone percieves love in different ways, and that's why they might define it in a different way.
Example: Love by first sight is different than the love you may obtain from a long friendship. The experiences you get from such relationships can affect the way you view even life.

Simply put, to me love is a phenomenon in which a person becomes ready to do things for a certain other, out of the ordinary, unconditionally of it affecting them or not. It is true by your argument that if you, for example, were to give a hungry person food, you would to that out of your own kindness; love is much more intense. When in love you are ready to do anything for your significant other, even if you have to give up things on your way to do it, just because you get the need to do it a.k.a you care for the other as much as you do for yourself.

EDIT, MY RESPONSE TO: " If love did exist on earth, then the lover would be dead, for they would have given everything, even their life, for the sake of others around them (as they would have no motivation in their love, not even for their own survival). "

Love also affects you as a driving force, giving you a purpose for which to live for. Naturally you wouldn't want this (the purpose of living) to end so that's why good relationships keep going until the end of their lives.