EH, SERIOUS THREAD..

Ok, I kind of need to talk about something. My mom has been making me go to a therapist for a couple months now, and the therapist said she noticed something specifically that I checked off in my survey. She talked to me about it, and she told me she thinks I have ocd. I went another time, and she asked me how I've been, and whether I've been trying to fix it. (it, being the ocd thing). I told her I didn't make much progress, which I didn't. The problem is, I don't really want to fix it. It feels lonely without it. I don't really know what to do. It takes a lot of time out of my day to satisfy these "urges" I get.

If you're wondering, these urges concern my weight and my well being. They tell me to do ____ or else ____ will happen. I have been doing this since I was 8 or 9 when I first started doing these, and I physically cant stop. It kind of keeps escalating from here. Whenever something comes to mind, my ocd half just takes care of it. If I had to say it simply, I can barely even think for myself anymore. But I don't mind. It feels nice, relaxing, even. Kind of like my emotions and sense of action are numbed, just for a couple years, haha.

If anyone can help me, please. I feel like it's not a big deal. I feel like it doesn't need attention. But it does, I'm practically forcing myself to make this lol. I jut can't think right.

Thanks preemptively.

 

Well I think that having OCD is not like having a disease; from my perspective, I think you should not try to "fix" OCD but rather be more chill about it, like not let it get to you too far (if that makes any sense). What I mean is that, if you feel that, for example, you are fat, don't starve your way into being skinny or what you consider "socially acceptable", just ask for others' help and find a better plan, like a new diet.

 

Well to start off, it's actually quite beneficial you are able to distinguish these urges firsthand (it's the first step to controlling them), so good for you. :) Now that you can identify these commands, you need to prove them wrong by making them sound illogical. For example, let's say your sports team is having a celebratory dinner together and the dessert comes around, along with those anti-weight-gaining thoughts. If your head tells you to not eat a bite of the cake because you'll wake up tomorrow the size of an average sumo wrestler with type 2 diabetes, you have to catch that thought in the act and tell it and yourself that's not possible unless you binge on sugars 24/7 and hadn't watched your weight/figure whatsoever. That might sound like an exaggeration to people, but your mind can make even the most irrational possibility a rational one. Once you question those thoughts, you start to realize how much sense they don't make, and you slowly but surely don't believe/trust them anymore. Sometimes I might talk to myself aloud to prove thinking/believing irrationally does me no good (it's scientifically proven to be effective with this). It may take some time and be a bit hard to do, but I believe you can overcome those nasty thoughts. :) My therapist actually recommended this to me, and (to my surprise) those racing thoughts/demands have diminished greatly. I can't guarantee it will work for you though. Sorry that my comment's so long :p

Good luck and if you ever need support I'm always here to talk :)

 

Thanks :)

the problem is, when I wake up. My brain automatically looks in the mirror and doesn't see that it had no results on me. I look in the mirror and say "I'm not good enough" every single day. I may have even lost some weight, but my eyes cannot see that. I'm starting to go to practice twice a day because I need to drop time and "be good enough". It's not just weight either, but it's things like my social life, my gaming addiction, and my future. Though believe me, I am trying so hard to get over myself.

 

Hey why don't you ever tell me these things??
I may be an ass but I'm here to help you。
Look, the things that help me control my urges is doing the impossible。
Ignore them。
It hurts, it sucks, and I know it's extremely difficult。But don't think about them。Recognize them and avoid them。Domt think about them, ignore them, just don't follow them or it will just get worse and literally take over your life。You may not believe it but if you don't do something about it now it will get far worse than it is already。Please, take my advice。Fix it now while you still can。Start gradually avoiding your urges。If, say you mess up something and need to fix it。Don't fix it。(assuming it's something like not clicking twice。If you mess up on your resume, like typo that's completely different go ahead and fix that。) leave it be, forget about it。Keep telling yourself over and over nothing is going to happen。
After some time you will start to notice a change, but you have to be consistent。Start at ignoring 25% of your urges and following 75%。 Slowley but surely, move to 50/50。Now, slowly decreasing the number will take time, I'm talking years。It takes dedication, and you will need a lot of willpower if you want to stop it。
If you don't want to stop it, just leave the number at ignore 25% and follow 75%。
But seriously, take action now while you still can。

 

Wow, are you in luck. You're speaking to someone that has OCD and had anorexia (or at least at this point, my self-image is terrible regardless of how I look).
And I can answer that I have absolutely no help. I don't know how to get through it either. It's annoying. It's inhibiting. It's not what I wanted to be stuck with.
I can't help you, but I can at least tell you that you aren't alone
And if you want to talk to someone with similar circumstances, I'm here.
(I'll be watching this thread too, who knows, maybe it'll be helpful)

 

ty sis

Well, it's great that I'm not alone, really :). Thanks for letting me know and being there, and if things get worse I'll talk to you..