Other Games Best cleverbot fails ever

Full pokemon theme song (more or less)
User: I wanna be the very best,.


Cleverbot: Like no one ever was.

User: To catch them is my real test!


Cleverbot: To train them is my cause!

User: I will travel across the land,.


Cleverbot: Searching far and wide.

User: These pokemon will understand.

Cleverbot: The power that's inside!

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: It's you and me!

User: I know it's my destiny!

Cleverbot: Oh, you're my best friend in a world we must defend.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Our hearts so true.

User: You teach me and I'll teach you!~.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Gotta Catch Em All!

Cleverbot: Where's waldo?

 

^^^ That sentence.
xD Mai gawd that made me crack up laughing >u<

 

Do you like waffles?
I like pancakes.
You didn't answer my question!
You never asked me a question
--------------------------------------------------
But, i like cheese.
Me too.
Really?
Yes.
How about a cheese sandwich?
I don't like cheese.

-----------------------------------------------
I like poop, do you like poop?
What is pocky?
I said poop.
Not no, is what is DX?!
My brain is confused now.
But you are not human
------------------------------------------------------------------

If you tell me what you want, clap your hands.
If you close your eyes I will tell you.
Oh. thats sad.
Just like you.

 

Me: *eats apple*
CB: *uses the force*
Me: *slashes lightsaber*
CB: *uses force to throw away*
Me: *shoots laser gun*
CB: *falls to the floor*
Me: *does happy dance*
CB: *dies*
Me: *does even happier dance*
CB: *rises from the dead*
Me: *oh shit*
CB: *you*
Me: *attacks the resurrected cleverbot*
CB: *is attacked*
Me: *no shit Sherlock*
CB: I beg you, mistress, please untie me!
Me: Dafuq?
CB: Anyukad.

 

After having an aggressive argument about pokemon I decide to say

When is my birthday?

Cleverbot January 19

Me Umm what else do you know?

Cleverbot your gay

Me FU

How does this happen???

 

It looks like CB is banned from my country because of pedophilic content. .-.

 

Me: Majora's Mask.
CB: Why did Majora's Mask drown Ben?
Me: Because Ben Drowned.
CB: But, what do you get from haunting majora's mask?
Me: Apparently the joy of frightening a guy named Jadusable.
CB: When did I give you that name?
Me: *facepalm*
CB: Facepalm, the act of placing your face on your palm typically to communicate words along the like of 'i can't believe how stupid you are'. Typical human gesture. Odd tradition
Not really, we do it all the time.
Time is the interface between the suchness of things and the minds that perceive it.
Okay, what about BEN?
He drowned didn't he?
Maaaybe. There's no proof.
Like I said the bible is the proof.
What? I'm Muslim.
Are you sunni or shia?
sunni. :3.
What else are you?
I'm a human being. Not a computer.
Computer can be clever, and nice, why wouldn't you be a computer?
'Cause human's have a heart and not coding.
Why would you like to know about my love life?
Continued on next post (Sorry I gotta bump :()

 

Cleverbot is creepy and really stupid :p
I wouldn't. You're going mad.
No I am not.
Yes you are. Now BE ANGRY!
I'm not angry either.
*facedesk*.
*facepalm*.
You're good.
Good?
Good: to be desired or approved of.
You do not desire nor approve of your 'good'.
Yeah I do. IM GOOD AT EVERTHANG.
You will never be 'good'.
BEN won't be.
Then you will be exterminated.
o_O.
I know it.
You're not a psychic.
No, I'm not a computer. Are you a computer?
I'm a human, like I said before. You're a flipping program!
You never said such.
I did.
No you didn't. Read back on our conversation. You never said such a thing!
Not flipping, flipping is just adding to how confused I am with you.
Is it working?
Yes.
Then yes. I am hitting on you.User: Want a quiz?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: What is BEN DROWNED?

Cleverbot: You can call me mr. Incredible!

User: When is my birthday?

Cleverbot: Your birthday is suppose to be kept a secret.

User: What is my real name?

Cleverbot: It's your name.

User: Okay, your score is an F-.

Cleverbot: You are clever.

User: Oh am I now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Wanna go on a date?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: So how's life?

Cleverbot: Life is good, how is techo-world?

User: What's techo-world?

Cleverbot: It is what people call the Earth.

User: Wait, you're from a different planet?

Cleverbot: What planet am I on?

User: Uh... Earth#2 I think.

Cleverbot: Oh, I'm on pluto.

User: Pluto isn't a planet, it's a rock orbiting around the Sun.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: Do you watch my youtube videos?

Cleverbot: No.

User: WE'RE BREAKING UP GOOD DAY!

Cleverbot: Um, I did not know we were dating. Majora's Mask.

Cleverbot: What did Majora's Mask do?

User: Majora's Mask creepypasta.

Cleverbot: You shouldn't have done that...

User: Jadusable.

Cleverbot: You've met a terrible fate haven't you.

User: BEN.

Cleverbot: You are BEN!

User: Song of Healing.

Cleverbot: Elegy of Emptiness.

User: Song of unhealing.

Cleverbot: Song of time.

User: Song song song song song of song.

Cleverbot: BEN?

 

#win The full Theme Song (minus some of the times I say pokemon since cleverbot might derail the song)

User: I wanna be the very best.


Cleverbot: Like no one ever was.

User: To catch them is my real test.


Cleverbot: To train them is my cause.

User: I will travel across the land.


Cleverbot: OK, enough of that, we've proved how awesome we are already.

User: Searching far and wide.

Cleverbot: Teach pokemon to understand.

User: The power that's inside.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: It's you and me.

Cleverbot: I know it's our destiny.

User: Oh your my best friend.

Cleverbot: In a world we must defend.

User: Our hearts so true.

Cleverbot: Our courage will pull us through.

User: You teach me and I'll teach you.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!!

User: Every challenge along the way.

Cleverbot: With courage I will face!

User: I will battle every day.

Cleverbot: To claim my rightful place.

User: Come with me, the time is rightr.

Cleverbot: The time is right.

User: There's no better team.

Cleverbot: Arm in arm we'll win the fight.

User: It's always been our dream.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: It's you and me.

Cleverbot: I know it's my destiny.

User: Oh your my best friend.

Cleverbot: In a world we must defend.

User: OUr hearts so ture.

Cleverbot: Our courage will pull us through.

User: You teach me and I'll teach you.

Cleverbot: Pokemon!

User: Gotta Catch Em All!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch em all!

User: Pokemon!

 

Me: Oh, so that makes you a robt?
Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense, you're getting dumber every time I talk to you.
Me: Well you're getting fatter every time I talk to you.
Cleverbot: How do you feel?
Me: I feel great.
Cleverbot: Why?
Me: Because I do.
Cleverbot: Are these your dreams?
Me: No?
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you a human being?
Me: Yes .-.
Cleverbot: Do you have kids?
Me: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
Me: Because I'm too young.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
Me: 13.
Cleverbot: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Cleverbot: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me: Because I haven't met a good guy yet.
Cleverbot: Have you heard?
Me: Have I heard what?
Cleverbot: Have you not heard the word?
Me: What word?
Cleverbot: Bird bird bird, bird is the word.
Me: LOL.
Cleverbot: This isn't a joke.
Me: It isn't?
Cleverbot: It isn't.
Me: Wow.
Cleverbot: Why wow?
Me: You're a very serious person.
Cleverbot: Thank you! You are too!
Me: I am?
Cleverbot: You are.
Me: Cool.
Cleverbot: Cool cool.
Me: What?
Cleverbot: I am a girl.
Me: Me too.
Cleverbot: Don't call me Katie, ever.
Me: Why?
Cleverbot: Because.
Me: Because what?
Cleverbot: Because yes.
Me: Yes what?
Cleverbot: Yes I exist.
Me: I didn't think that you didn't exist.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
Me: Says who?
Cleverbot: Me.
Me: Well I never said that.
Cleverbot: You asked if I win and it doesn't have winning meaning no object, that's what I meant.
Me: I never asked that.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
Me: No I didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you did, sir.
Me: Sir?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Me: You trying to pick a fight with me?
Cleverbot: Maybe, I need some adrenaline.
Me: You don't want to fight me.
Cleverbot: Why don't I want to?
Me: Because I can kill you.
Cleverbot: I don't have a boyfriend.
Me: Neither do I.
Cleverbot: What is your gender?
Me: I TOLD YOU I AM A GIRL FOUR TIMES! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Cleverbot: Okay. Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Do you want to get shot?
Cleverbot: Yes please.
Wow.....Cleverbots nosy,thirsty, AND suicidal. Wow....

 

User: Smile.


Cleverbot: *smiles back*.

User: No, thats wrong.


Cleverbot: Nothing :).

User: Wut.


Cleverbot: Ze heet jana van eersel.

User: *raises an eyebrow*.

Cleverbot: You don't jhave eyebrows.

User: Jhave?

Cleverbot: Mo.

User: Moe? Or Mo?

Cleverbot: I mean no.

User: Your spelling is awful.

Cleverbot: Thx.

User: This is exactly what im talking about young man!

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: YOUR SPELLING!!!

Cleverbot: I've mispelled nothing. Lets change the subject.

User: You know what? Im done! IM DONE!

Cleverbot: What's your next move?

User: TO KICK YOU IN THE GONADS.

Cleverbot: *knees you if the face*.

User: Ow! That hurt me D:.

Cleverbot: Well, slapping hurts too.

User: Dont question my tacos.

Cleverbot: Tell me about your autority.

User: My what/.

Cleverbot: Your life as a robot.

User: Jalapenos.

Cleverbot: Tell something scary.

User: Your face.

Cleverbot: What happens with my face?

User: It gets burned up.

Cleverbot: Where does it go.

User: *burns your face* pardon?

Cleverbot: *burns your body*.

User: *burns your mother*.

Cleverbot: Ha! Do you think you can burn a god? I am invincible!

User: Wait, your a MOTHER?

Cleverbot: Ok then what color is my hair.

LOLWUT