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Discussion in 'General Discussion / Real life stuff' started by ItsJerry, May 22, 2015.

  1. xXx_MLGFAZEMAN_xXx

    xXx_MLGFAZEMAN_xXx MLGFAZEMAN to the rescue

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    spykethevictini Donator

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    IAMINACTIVEBYE Donator

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  5. teitan

    teitan ‏‏‎ Donator

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    Act One
    INT. LAUNDROMAT

    DAVY
    …never seen anything like that in me life before… I never saw anything like that…

    DAVY, MICKY, PETER, MIKE
    [chatter]

    MIKE
    Uh, hey, hey. What are you doing?

    PETER
    My shirts always come back from the laundry with buttons missing!

    DAVY
    Uh, Mike, Mike, uh, listen, I’m gonna get some soap.

    MIKE
    Well, b-but, Peter is—

    DAVY
    Um, excuse me, miss, but uh… ha… have you got…

    APRIL
    Yes?

    DAVY
    S-s-s-s-soap? Soap? Soap?

    MICKY
    I gotta get some soap. Listen, do you have any so…? Soap… Soap…

    DAVY
    Soap…

    MICKY
    Soap…

    MIKE
    What the…? What’s going on? What’s going on with you guys?

    DAVY, MICKY, PETER
    Soap… soap… soap…

    MIKE
    Soap? What is this, soap? … Oh!

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    Soap… soap… soap…

    [“(Theme From) The Monkees”]

    Act Two
    INT. THE PAD
    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    Soap… soap… soap…

    MIKE
    Um, I gotta go back and get my laundry.

    MICKY
    You’re wearing it.

    MIKE
    Oh.

    DAVY
    Well, um—

    MICKY
    Uh… My aunt! Oh! I just remembered! I have a sick aunt! Oh, she’s so sick, she’s dying! I didn’t tell you my, oh, my poor aunt! Uh, I gotta go see my aunt, seven years I haven’t seen my aunt. She lives in Duluth or something or Bugscuffle. Uh, really, my sick aunt, I have to, my—I’m coming, aunt, your poor nephew is coming. Seven years, my poor aunt…

    MIKE
    Um, I’m uh, gonna run down to the store and uh, buy some dog food!

    DAVY
    Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait!

    MIKE
    What, what, what?

    DAVY
    We don’t have a dog.

    MIKE
    Well, I’ll uh, I’ll run down to the store and pick up a dog, too. Huh huh. Dogs are nice, y’know, you can pet ’em, and uh, and love ’em, and take fleas off of ’em, and put fleas back on ’em, and uh, besides that, dogs play with cats, and… and we don’t have a cat either… um, uh, bye!

    DAVY
    A dog?

    PETER
    ???

    DAVY
    You know? You know I think I’d like to be?

    PETER
    Hm?

    DAVY
    I think I’d like to be a boxer. Fightin’ three at a time, sometimes four, pow, pow, pow! Uh! You know what a boxer has to do a lot of though?

    PETER
    What?

    DAVY
    Road work.

    PETER
    Gee… Micky’s gone to see his aunt, and Mike’s gone out to get dog food, and Davy’s doing road work… I’m all alone, I… I think I’ll go see April!

    INT. LAUNDROMAT
    APRIL
    Hello!

    DAVY
    Oh, hello!

    APRIL
    Can I help you?

    DAVY
    Well, I-I was just running by and I, I thought I’d um…

    APRIL
    Yes?

    DAVY
    Wh-wh-what are you doing?

    APRIL
    That’s for my postgraduate studies.

    DAVY
    Oh?

    APRIL
    I’m an alumnus at the laundromatic institute of San Radu. I majored… in laundry science.

    DAVY
    Oh, really?

    APRIL
    Yeah.

    DAVY
    Huh. You should do well in that business.

    APRIL
    Well, you may not realize it, but laundry is a science. Like astronomy, physics…

    MIKE
    What are you doing here?

    DAVY
    April and I are having a private conversation about laundering science. It’s a science, you know!

    MIKE
    Yeah?

    DAVY
    Yeah, that’s right; it’s like astrology. What are you doing here?

    MIKE
    Huh? What am I—? Well, um, well, I thought uh, come down and-and-and-and-and see another commercial. Ha ha! What’s that?

    APRIL
    I’m working on my doctor’s thesis.

    MIKE
    Oh. Why can’t your doctor work on his own thesis?

    DAVY
    What, what are you doing here?

    MIKE
    Yeah, what are you do-uh-doing here?

    MICKY
    Uh? Oh. I was passing by, I thought I’d come in and see my old lint. Uh lant. Aunt!

    DAVY
    Uh, why, why don’t you tell us more about laundering, April?

    APRIL
    Well, do you realize that all over the world, there’s a great reservoir of untapped dirt.

    DAVY
    You know, this is ???

    APRIL
    Well, how do we conquer that brave new world of dirt? I’ll tell you. The answer is… the washing machine!

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    Don’t you think she’s a little tall for you?

    DAVY
    Well, she didn’t seem to mind.

    MIKE
    Yeah, well, she wouldn’t mind; she didn’t know you’re alive.

    MICKY
    Hey, come on, come on, guys, before we say something we’re gonna regret.

    DR. SISTERS
    Hello. This is Dr. Lorene Sisters again. Answering your questions about love and family problems. Bringing the cool light of reason into your messy little lives.

    PETER
    She has the touch of the poet.

    MICKY
    What are we watching this for, man?

    MIKE
    Will you be quiet? Maybe we’ll learn something.

    DR. SISTERS
    And now for our first letter. “Dear Dr. Sisters, what is the best way to win the girl you love? Signed, Anguished.” My dear Anguished, the fastest way to a woman’s heart is through her mind.

    DAVY
    You know, I would never have thought of that route.

    DR. SISTERS
    If you really want to win the girl you love, find out what kind of man she likes, and then be that man.

    EXT. THE PAD
    DAVY
    Uh, hello. Uh, Mrs. Conquest? Um, this is uh, David Armstrong Jones of the British BBC. Uh heh. That stands for Better Be Clean.

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    Uh, hello, Miss April Conquest? [clears throat] Yes, well, hello there. Uh this is Dr. Frigmund Fried. Freed. Yeah, Freed. And uh, I’m with the University of Heidelberg, and I… Heidelberg, Germany.

    EXT. TELEPHONE POLE
    PETER
    Hello, Miss Mifflin? Uh, yeah, listen, you’re April Conquest’s neighbor, and I called to find out about any hobbies she’s got.

    INT. THE PAD
    MICKY
    Hi. This is tele—a telephone quiz from station M.O.T.

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    Uh, I was uh, doing a little research here on women, and since you’re a woman, [whistles] are you ever a woman. No, I didn’t hang up… I… sorta got hung up.

    EXT. TELEPHONE POLE
    PETER
    Well, can’t you think of any hobbies?

    EXT. THE PAD
    DAVY
    We’re doing a case study on American laundering habits.

    INT. THE PAD
    MICKY
    If you answer the question correctly, you get a, a free gift course for, in any field you choose, to make your future husband the very way you want him.

    EXT. TELEPHONE POLE
    PETER
    Well, what did she do last night?

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    I was doing a little research, I wondered if you could answer me a few questions.

    EXT. THE PAD
    DAVY
    I-I’d like to know what hobbies your daughter April has.

    EXT. TELEPHONE POLE
    PETER
    Uh huh, some people came over, uh, carrying violins and a cello, and they sat around a house, and the four of them played music for six hours. Uh huh.

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    What would you like a man to do that you find, you know, the most interesting? Besides the laundry.

    INT. THE PAD
    MICKY
    Ballet?

    EXT. THE PAD
    DAVY
    Pop art?

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    Mo-motorcycling?!

    EXT. TELEPHONE POLE
    PETER
    No hobbies?

    INT. THE PAD
    MICKY
    Oh no, no, heh, I think ballet’s great for a future husband.

    EXT. THE PAD
    DAVY
    Oh yes, it is true. Oh, it’s terribly true; England does swing like a pendulum door.

    INT. THE PAD
    MIKE
    Uh, danke schoen there, um, um, bye.

    EXT. TELEPHONE POLE
    PETER
    Thank you, bye.

    INT. THE PAD
    MICKY
    Thank you.—Wait!

    INT. LAUNDROMAT
    APRIL
    Yes. … What are you doing?

    DAVY
    This wall! This wall is the place where I’ll paint my next mural!

    APRIL
    Davy! Are you an artist?

    DAVY
    Do fish swim? … May I?

    APRIL
    Oh, yes. … Beautiful.

    DAVY
    Wait!

    APRIL
    Oh! … You like chamber music?

    PETER
    Do fish swim?

    APRIL
    Oh!

    PETER
    Any requests?

    DAVY
    Oh, April, April!

    APRIL
    Micky! Do you dance ballet?

    MICKY
    Do fish swim?

    DAVY
    How did he do that?

    MICKY
    A man in love has the strength of thousands!

    DAVY
    April, April! April! It’s me, David, what are you doing with him?

    MIKE
    Hey, baby!

    APRIL
    Oh, Mike! You ride a bike!

    MIKE
    That’s right, baby. And fish can swim. Watch this.

    [“(Theme From) The Monkees”]

    DAVY
    April, April! April, please! … April?

    APRIL
    You’re mad! You’re mad! Oh, I love you all!

    DAVY
    April, come here.

    APRIL
    Davy!

    DAVY
    Do you want to have a go? It’s lovely.

    MICKY
    Watch out, watch out!

    DAVY
    Mike! Micky! Micky, are you alright?

    MICKY
    My arm, my leg, my arm, my h…

    PETER
    You got—

    DAVY
    What you do to the bike, man?

    MICKY
    My bike?! My arm, my head, my leg, my—ouch—my toe…

    APRIL
    Oh!

    PETER
    Micky!

    DAVY
    Mike! Are you alright, Mike? How’s your head?

    MIKE
    I’m fine, I feel wonderful, I’ve never felt better in my life.

    APRIL
    Oh, I love them all!

    DAVY
    Micky, are these yours?

    APRIL
    Oh!


    Act Three
    INT. THE PAD

    MIKE
    You know, it’s stupid, four guys mooning over the same girl.

    PETER
    She’s lovely.

    DAVY
    Delightful.

    MICKY
    With a richer, longer, everlasting charm.

    DAVY
    You know, I wonder what it would be like going through life with a girl like that.

    [“The Girl I Knew Somewhere” music romp]

    MIKE
    Alright, look, let’s be grown up about this whole thing. Sure, we, we like the same chick. But there’s no reason to let it ruin our friendship, right?

    DAVY
    Right.

    MICKY
    Right.

    PETER
    Right.

    PETER
    Four equal parts—that’s a joke.

    MICKY
    What are you gripin’ about? You got the TV.

    PETER
    Yeah, but you have the ice box.

    MICKY
    Oh yeah? Big deal! I’d gladly trade Davy for the front door.

    DAVY
    Huh. No deal. But I’ll gladly trade Mike for the bathroom right away.

    PETER
    Well, I think I’m gonna watch TV.

    DR. SISTERS
    Our next letter is from Tormented.

    PETER
    Hey! That’s me! Tormented! Get out of my area!

    MIKE
    Oh, shut up.

    DR. SISTERS
    It reads, “Dear Dr. Sisters, my three friends and I are all in love with the same girl. These friends are very dear to me, and I wouldn’t want to lose them for the world.”

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE
    Yay!

    DAVY
    Right!

    DR. SISTERS
    “So my question is, what can I do to cut them out?”

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE
    Booooo!

    DR. SISTERS
    Tormented, you say in the rest of your heartbreaking and ungrammatical letter that you boys have made this girl fond of each of you by taking on interests she likes.

    DAVY
    That’s right, what of it?

    DR. SISTERS
    I’ll tell you what of it! You’ve placed this girl in a dangerously emotional state. She’s now drawn to four different boys, and this unresolved conflict could lead to a nervous collapse.

    MICKY
    You gotta be kidding!

    DR. SISTERS
    Do I look like a kidder?

    DAVY
    That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!

    DR. SISTERS
    Oh is it? I have here in my hand another letter from a girl telling how she is in love with four boys; it’s signed Miss Laundromat.

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    Laundromat?

    DR. SISTERS
    Yes, Laundromat. And she tells in this letter that’s she’s so close to a nervous collapse that she’s too nervous to even write this letter.

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    That’s nervous.

    DR. SISTERS
    And don’t forget collapse.

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    Collapse!?

    EXT. LAUNDROMAT
    MICKY
    Let’s put it to her directly and let April make up her own mind, man. … She’s—she’s sick, it’s a nervous breakdown, she had the collapse!

    PETER
    It’s our fault.

    MICKY
    It’s all our fault!

    MIKE
    Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold it, hold it! Gotta stay cool and think. Look, Saturday is April’s biggest day, right?

    DAVY
    Right.

    MIKE
    And, and if she’s closed today, she may go out of business.

    DAVY
    Well, maybe we oughta start by getting out of the confusion of the, of loving the four of us.

    PETER
    Right.

    MICKY
    Right, yeah. Hey, we gotta choose for it. Okay.

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    One, two, three!

    PETER
    I lost.

    MICKY
    No, Peter, you won.

    PETER
    I did?

    MIKE
    Peter, you stay here and go in, and the three of us will go over to April’s house, and when we get back, she’ll be all yours.

    PETER
    All of her?

    DAVY
    Hey, I think we chose the wrong guy.

    MICKY
    Let’s make it two out of three, heh.

    MIKE
    Come on, will ya please?

    PETER
    Hey! Wait, wait! How do I get in if the door’s locked?

    MICKY
    Peter, you can’t expect the writers to know everything. Improvise!

    INT. APRIL’S HOUSE
    DAVY
    And Peter gets this?

    MICKY
    Let’s, let’s, uh, make it two out of three.

    DAVY
    Yes!

    MIKE
    Oh, come on, you guys. Don’t you know what it’s like to be a good loser?

    MICKY
    Uh-huh. It makes me sick to my stomach.

    MIKE
    Shh! She’s waking up!

    APRIL
    Oh. Davy. Micky. Mike.

    MIKE
    Hi, hi April.

    MICKY
    Hi.

    DAVY
    Hi.

    APRIL
    What are you doing here?

    DAVY
    Y-y-your mother said it’d be okay if-if-if we came over here, and we tried to cheer you up or something, you know.

    APRIL
    Davy?

    DAVY
    Yes?

    APRIL
    We’ll paint together soon, won’t we?

    DAVY
    Oh yeah, we’re gonna be paintin’ all the time, yeah—No, no, we’re not gonna paint. Paintin’s a drag. It’s a drag. The paint gets up your nostrils and your toenails and your ear. No. You’re better off with Peter.

    APRIL
    Oh. Micky, have you been to the ballet lately?

    MICKY
    The ba-ba…? Oh, no, ballet, yeck! Bleh! Dancing on your toes, ah, that’s ridiculous. No, I’m a tree surgeon now, but I don’t make any house calls, so you’re better off with Peter.

    APRIL
    Mike! Don’t tell me… you’ve given up motorcycles?

    MIKE
    Given ’em up? Huh, are you kidding? Of course I’ve given ’em up. They’re horrible. No, I, I’ve taken up skydiving.

    APRIL
    Oh! Oh!

    MIKE
    You like that? Uh, but um, I’m, I’ve got uh, one, one problem. You see, I’m uh, I’m afraid of airplanes. Oh, afraid, and I don’t, I can’t dive in the sky, so I use my living room, and the parachute gets on the couch and the b—lamp, and it’s a drag, and you wouldn’t want to do that, and you’d be better off with Peter.

    APRIL
    Oh! I feel better already. Where is Peter?

    INT. LAUNDROMAT
    PETER
    Ladies, ladies, I’m sorry, we will not be responsible for loss and damage. Ladies, please! ??? What’d I ever do?

    MAN WITH PAPER
    It shrunk! It shrunk!

    PETER
    ??? Cannot be responsible for loss and damage!

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE
    Hold it, hold it, wait, wait!

    DAVY
    Wait, wait, wait!

    APRIL
    Oh Peter, Peter, Peeeter! How can I ever thank you?

    PETER
    That’ll do for a start.

    Tag
    INT. THE PAD
    DAVY
    To think, we gave her to him!

    MICKY
    Let’s do a two out of three.

    PETER
    You guys can be like brothers to her.

    MICKY
    Thanks.

    PETER
    ’Course, I’d hate to think she came to me on the rebound.

    MIKE
    Well, you can uh, just sort of think of this time as being the bound.

    PETER
    Ha ha ha ha. That must be April.

    APRIL
    Peter!

    PETER
    Hi April, come on in.

    APRIL
    Good evening. Oh, no, I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I’ve had the most exciting day!

    PETER
    Oh?

    APRIL
    Yes. I want you to meet my fiancé. This is Freddy Fox the third.

    FREDDY
    Hi babies, how you doin’? Yeah! Isn’t she just too much, man? Look at that! Ooh!

    APRIL
    I never met a singer before!

    FREDDY
    Oh, come on, April, let’s split outta here, man, ooh!

    DAVY
    April is the cruelest month.

    MIKE
    Well, I guess it just goes to prove to what Shakespeare said, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the—

    MICKY
    Please! No morals!

    PETER
    [sniffles]

    MIKE
    C’mon Peter, you gotta learn to be a good loser.

    PETER
    [cries]

    MICKY
    That’s a good loser.

    PETER
    We all loved her! And now will none of us find any happiness?!

    MIKE
    Come in!

    GIRL
    Hi, we’re your new neighbors. Can you tell us where to find a laundromat?

    DAVY, MICKY, MIKE, PETER
    One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.
     
  6. questionmark

    questionmark Donator

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    affanculo ti odio così tanto

    if you put that in google search it says something with the f word in it so i suggest not to do it
     
  7. Xandalf

    Xandalf Donator

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    if(Application.GetStreamProgressForLevel(1)==1){
    Application.LoadLevel(1);
    }
     
  8. EvaTheUnicorn

    EvaTheUnicorn ~Anime Trash~

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    Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
     
  9. Enderbrine

    Enderbrine うちはサスケ

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  10. ItsAlex

    ItsAlex [God] AlexMines

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    I am glad that I was watching something good woof.
    here:
     
  11. gibbson3

    gibbson3 Legend l Gibby

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    MOREAMMO Lol!
     
  12. Xirevert

    Xirevert ( TheFireroll ) Donator

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    Getting rick roll'd in 2015 feels like having enough cerial but not enough milk.
    Thanks Jerry...
     
  13. Harv

    Harv Donator

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    Mayu_Rika

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  15. Tsolay

    Tsolay Artist Donator

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    Nanometer
    Einstein's Problem
    The author of this problem is Albert Einstein who said that 98% of the people in the world couldn't solve it. That's false.

    Facts:
    1.
    There are 5 houses (along the street) in 5 different colors:
    blue, green, red, white and yellow.
    2.
    In each house lives a person of a different nationality:
    Brit, Dane, German, Norwegian and Swede.
    3.
    These 5 owners
    drink a certain beverage:
    beer, coffee, milk, tea and water,
    smoke a certain brand of cigar:
    Blue Master, Dunhill, Pall Mall, Prince and blend,
    and keep a certain pet:
    cat, bird, dog, fish and horse.
    4.
    No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.
    Hints:
    1.
    The Brit lives in a red house.
    2.
    The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
    3.
    The Dane drinks tea.
    4.
    The green house is on the left of the white house (next to it).
    5.
    The green house owner drinks coffee.
    6.
    The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
    7.
    The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
    8.
    The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk.
    9.
    The Norwegian lives in the first house.
    10.
    The man who smokes blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.
    11.
    The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
    12.
    The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
    13.
    The German smokes Prince.
    14.
    The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
    15.
    The man who smokes blend has a neighbor who drinks water.

    The question is: Who keeps fish?
     
  16. Warrior9

    Warrior9 Donator

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    [​IMG]

    idk why
    but its my ctrl+v
     
  17. spykethevictini

    spykethevictini Donator

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  18. _ItsMayDay

    _ItsMayDay Smol Blueberry Pun Skele 4 Life Donator

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    LolNope. If I had one, it'd most likely be "SmolSkel"
    images-5.jpeg
    I live a sad life.
     
    IAMINACTIVEBYE likes this.
  19. IAMINACTIVEBYE

    IAMINACTIVEBYE Donator

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    [​IMG]

    It was for my story, oke? >.<
     
  20. spoon

    spoon can i spoon you pls

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