STRUGGLING. I NEED HELP, BEFORE IT GETS WORSE.

Title describes how I feel about this pretty well. I'm asking you guys because I'm running out of options. The thing is, everytime I try and bring this up around my friends, they never take me seriously because they think I'm being ironic, because that's the kind of person I am. But this time, it's getting out of hand.

I have really bad self-image issues. Well, it started in 7th grade when I noticed everyone around me had a better facial complexion than I did. I mean, cmon. They had no acne, they didn't need glasses, and they didn't have to hide their forehead with their hair. It got me thinking, why can't I be like them? From then, it started getting a lot worse, constantly skipping meals because "I'm fat" and "I'm skin and fat, no muscles". Playing video games has helped me a lot, people know me for my personality and not my looks, like at school.

One point of my life, I was actually pretty depressed because I had no one to talk to and I had no one to listen. At this time of my life, I was wondering what my purpose is in life. I go without sleep because of constant thoughts haunting me for hours, spiraling through my mind to an inevitable panic attack.

I learned to handle things on my own, and eventually got over myself. Second semester ended, and then seating arrangements in orchestra came out. I've had the same seat for the past two years, second to last. For the first time in a while, I had a good chair. I was fourth. I saw the seating arrangement in the morning, I was back to second to last. This hit me harder than I thought it would, and currently I am questioning whether I am actually good enough. Not just for orchestra, but for anything.

My self-pity is hitting me like a fucking taco truck, terrible thoughts that I can't push away, and I'm afraid I will become depressed. Like, serious depression. Please, I need help.

 

I see what you are dealing with, I understand how it feels and I want to help you in anyway possible. Just wanted to let you know, you don't want to be like the other kids, never. You never want to be cool, fitting in is lame. You, are beautiful just the way you are. Everyone is. Being yourself is a great quality to have. I always say "I wanna stay ugly" and by that I mean, I want to stay the way I am, and that is exactly what you should do. And, skipping meals, is never they way to go. Trust me, please. If people are bullying you for being a certain way, make sure you f'in tell someone.Be yourself, and don't take anyone's shit. Never let them take you alive.. The purpose of you life is, what you make it to be. One day your life is going to run right before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching. Do want you want, not what anyone else tells you to be. So what if you got back chair, etc. You should never let that stop you from trying. If you love something a little too much, that's fine as long as it's true to you. Your quirks, and your problems, even your depressions and failures, that's what makes you, you. And you should never be ashamed of that. Self expression is actually very important, and I suggest doing that at school, home, here, anywhere. It's what keeps the world moving forward. It is good that you've learned how to handle things on your own, that's a good direction to go in. If you're ever depressed, sad, anything. Please, don't ever resort to violence. Understand me? Life is very, very short, and you can choose to live it how you want. You can choose to dumb yourself down and not express yourself just so you can fit in, just so people won't dislike you. or you can f'in live. I mean no harm in what I am saying. No one, and I mean no one deserves to be in pain, as it be this or any kind. And, I am aware that I say these sort of things a lot.
I hope you're able to pick yourself up, and maybe take some of my advice. It may to exactly/directly relate to you, but all I want to do is help.
Good luck.

 

I know it's hard to, but ignore everything.
Find one thing that makes you happy (osu, games and forums for me), and tune everything else out.
Focus on the things that matter (maths and business studies for me, as that is what my *hopefully* future job requires)
Who cares what *they* all think. In the end, you'll be the happy one, not them c:

 

I'll definitely take this into consideration, thanks so much I couldn't appreciate it more.

i do. I have LoL and osu! I'm not the best, but I'm working my way up.

 

Im no dermatologist, nor do I have problems with acne, but washing your fave and drinking water helps

 

You look just fine, looks isn't what counts the most in this stage of life. You need to enjoy the things you do, make fun with your friends, be happy.

 

Thanks guys, trying to make a habit of it.

 

Yosh, are you freaking kidding me? Just saying get ready for an emotional post by me... ANYWAYS, I personally hate the way I look. I believe I'm not pretty or skinny, or really have anything going for me in the looks department, but you're good-looking. When I saw your picture I thought you were pretty good-looking. I don't think I'm beautiful, but I'm confident. I know that my real friends don't care about my looks, only my personality. People used to call me fat, and ugly, and useless, and some still do, but I'm confident. I have my personality and that's all that matters. I don't get how people could even care about me, but they do, and they love me because I'm me. You're you. You can't change. You're funny, and sweet, and good-looking, and beautiful. You shouldn't starve yourself because skinny doesn't mean you're pretty. I struggled with myself too, but I've learned to love myself, because I can't change. Please don't put yourself through so much pain because you want to look good. Be confident. You don't have to be beautiful to change the world. (Just saying, you're really good-looking)

Wow emotional post.
Well, who wants some celebratory cake? (^3^)

 

Pick som physical activity you would prefer. Playing and learning golf REALLY helps. You can learn to concentrate and assess your mistakes, not to mention it does make you healthier than playing soccer or basketball, and excercise will reduce your acne. Also, make sure you use soap on your face everyday.

 

thanks bush, I can always count on you to have my back no matter the situation <3

I hae swimming, I'm not in season now. And yeah, trying to make a habit out of it. Thanks for the advice though.

 

Drink alcohol, it helps ;) (Pirate word)

 

thanks?

 

No problem :D

 

If those people don't want to talk to you by your looks, get off them, if they like your personality, that, is a true friend, when you are in the point where you are having no one to talk to you, those people you were talking to consider you as just a guy
My advice is to keep doing things you like with people you like and they like you back, I personally have no IRL friends, and all I do in school is just hang out with myself
Listen to the advices above me,they're good

 

Thank you. You're advice is always pretty good :)

 

I'm a skin care manger nurse (w.c.c) in wound care. Search it up. I be more more then happy to give u tips. Message me. And fyi washing ur face to much does harm. You wash away natural flora that kills the bad bacteria.

 

You are in a home right now, right? You have us. We are here for you. Even though we are behind a screen, we are still your friends. Remember, we can listen. We are here for you. We are here for everyone. There is a living human being, behind a screen right now, reading this message. You can be one of them. As humanity, we are all tied. We must work together, because that's how we survived. We are here for you, and we love you. Don't try to be like others, because the others are taken. Be yourself, we love you! Some people don't have friends because they are pretending to be others. Pretending to be someone else is not how we survived. We survived by putting our minds together, thinking together, working together, helping each other as one, and you know einstein and benjamin franklin? They were theirselves. They put their own lives ahead of theirselves, because they knew that if they tried to be like other people, the potential inside them is lost.

Besides, benjamin had his own "fat" problems. He still was cool, and he still is. Don't let your body make you feel bad. It's impossible to have a perfect body, i'm not even kidding. You know models? Men on the advertisements with their shirts off? Bodybuilders? Their bodies aren't possible. It's already been proven with the Justin Beiber "Calvin Klein" ads or whatever.

Anyways, just be yourself. We are here for you. We are your friends! :) We are human beings behind monitors, don't forget. We aren't robots. :D

 

What is up home diggity dawg。
Anyways, just saying this now, if you think you are bad at something, practice。 be better at it。 I went through depression once, and trust me it is not fun。 Hey, I'm not 100% better either。 But depression is not a hole you want to fall into。 You are really good looking, first of all。 Remember that thing I sent you about Zack?And just last week, you got a love note from someone! you are perfect just the way you are。 I'm probably going to end up saying really cheesy things here but it's okay。 Like Eli said you don't need to be cool, you shouldn't want to be。 All of those skinny girls and perfect boys take advantage of their looks, and they have shitty everything else。 You are perfect in your own way, you're funny, smart(er than me) and you are a sexy beast。 You should not live up to anyone else's expectations but your own。
In summary, fuck the police。

 

I'm working on it, but I can't seem to remember to do it

thank you so much Lidia, I don't know what I would do with out you. You make me so happy I am a part of this community and have the friends I have, honestly, thank you so much.

zach* and yeah I guess you're right. Thanks Ali, I can count on you to have my back and shit. By the way I never got a notification for this so sorry I had a late response. The self-conscious thing is on and off, so that's a good sign.

 

I get what your going through, it is hard with society when you may not be as "Good Looking" as someone else. Well I am here to tell you that you are. You are beautiful no matter what society thinks. I understand what you're going through. My hair got cut short from my younger cousin and then my face wasn't too attractive. People called me a guy and things like slut and other nasty names. But, I didn't let them take me down. One day, they will see your true beauty and be ashamed. Don't ever underestimate yourself. Life is full of ups and downs. The only think you do, is be ready for it. I know it's hard, it used to bring me down when people called me out but, I learned they don't know what they're talking about. Everyone is beautiful, no matter if society doesn't see it now. You are amazing. Don't let them get you down buddy. Shine bright and reach for things that are a mile out of your reach. You are beautiful, and never think your not. Tune them out because, you are the true beauty. They will be ashamed when they see it. I hope this helps, lots of love. -Cookie <3