[Parkour] Lagoon

Discussion in 'Accepted Map Submissions' started by Petowe, Jul 10, 2018.

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  1. Petowe

    Petowe

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    Hello everyone

    It's been a long time since I wanted to create a map for the Harry&Jerry parkour section. I've always liked speedjump/sprintcraft more than any other type of parkour.

    This is the map I've made : Lagoon

    Screenshots (in order of appearance when playing the map) :

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    The map contains three cuts and a few multiple routes. It combines two environments : the outside (the lagoon) and the mine. The difficulty is closer to medium.

    Epic run of myself on the map (fixed version) :

    Credits to : thanks muffin_mobber for the help on the gameplay side.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2018
  2. PrettyFreakingRad

    PrettyFreakingRad profamity

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    Good job sis
     
  3. RulerofMobs

    RulerofMobs What, scared? Donator

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    Make the bottom of the lake a bit more interesting. Maybe make some gravel spots.
     
  4. Petowe

    Petowe

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    Ok why not. I added a gameplay video !
     
  5. Ezzerland

    Ezzerland Staff Member Administrator

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    Great level layout. Love the foliage and design, re-use of the map. Good work.

    Only suggestion I have is to either re-texture some of the rock formations in the water, or re-shape them a little. Currently, though probably unintentional, they look inappropriate.
     
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  6. Petowe

    Petowe

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    What texture would you recommand ? Cobblestone, Full double-stone slab or gray stained clay don't fit neither...
    Are you talking about all the andesite spikes ? Or only those from 13seconds in the video ?

    Also it will be complicated to reshape them since they add a lot to the gameplay (one cut is there)
     
  7. Ezzerland

    Ezzerland Staff Member Administrator

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    One to the left hand side about 7 seconds in, one in your face at about 16 seconds in. Those are the only really noticeable ones. Mainly the one 7 seconds in.

    The texture honestly looks good, so, I'd probably recommend just adjusting the layout. If you do re-texture, I'd probably include mossy blocks for what's sticking out of the water (like, right above water level) and cracked stone bricks just under water. These are textures that make sense to your map, imo.
     
  8. Petowe

    Petowe

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    I tried but prefered the andesite one... Bricks aren't natural. I removed the spike 7seconds in the video
    [​IMG]
     
  9. Ezzerland

    Ezzerland Staff Member Administrator

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    Looks better, ty <3
     
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  10. sunflower

    sunflower my teeth hurt a lot 'cause i grind 'em with stress Donator

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    This is lovely, I mean, it's absolutely beautiful. I hope this gets accepted!
     
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  11. Petowe

    Petowe

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    Thanks for the feedback!
    Also, the map is on my server. Message me if you want to come and try it
     
  12. Heatdude Da Waffle

    Heatdude Da Waffle Ex Moⅾ+ | Amateur Builder Donator

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    I really like the look of this. I've looked at pretty much every map submission and honestly this one is one of the prettiest I've seen, very good work with the texturing and overall look of the area. I love it.

    My only concern is with the parkour itself and namely the direction and flow. At some points in the parkour it seems a bit unclear as to what direction the player is supposed to go. In a parkour, especially a long one like this, you want every jump to be obvious. Here's the two biggest examples of what I mean when I say that your parkour doesn't seem straightforward:

    At 0:12 you come to a bridge. Now, because the bridge looks a bit broken (and don't get me wrong I do like the look of it) a player might think that the bridge isn't just a jump but is a turning point where they're supposed to go left or right. This is furthered by the fact that the next jump to the lily pads isn't as defined as the jumps prior to the bridge. Each stone spike (or stalagmite I guess) is obviously the next jump, as is the bridge itself. However the lily pads aren't as clear. When I first watched your run I actually expected you to turn and go along the bridge and was surprised when you jumped to the lilys as I hadn't even noticed them. Until you get to the bridge you can't even see the lily pads so there's no way for a player to know that's where they were supposed to go next.
    Here's a couple suggestions I have as to how to fix it:
    1) There's a spike right behind the first lily pads. Maybe replace the first lily pads with some gravel and sand that connects to the spike like it's a part where the ground is higher in the lagoon. That way it looks natural and the color of the sand makes it more evident as the next place to go. From there the next lily pads are the obvious path so you're in the clear.
    2) Ditch the bridge entirely and make it into one of those hanging things you have like the jump right before the bridge at 0:11. That would make the jump from there to the next hanging thing to the lily pads the obvious path to follow.
    Either of those, I think, would make it more obvious.

    At 0:48 when you start running across the leaves the next place to go seems really unclear. I actually thought you were gonna go to the right and jump on top of the light post thing because it seemed to be saying "go this way!" This one is easier to fix in my mind; add a torch above the stone brick that you jump onto after the leaves to make the path more obvious. Torches are a great way to mark the right path c:

    Hopefully everything I said made sense. As I said I really like the way the parkour looks, I love your style.
    Best of luck, I really hope this gets accepted (:
     
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  13. ItsHarry

    ItsHarry Owner Staff Member Owner

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    Great map, please PM me the world save with coordinates
     
  14. Petowe

    Petowe

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    Wow, thanks a lot Heatdude for the constructive critic. I agree with most of what you saif, especially for the ending. I'll try to fix it with the bridge-lilypads link too.

    Edit :
    I changed the gameplay video ! I hope the main issues are fixed now. Is it okay for you ?
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2018
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  15. I_Just_Loved_You

    I_Just_Loved_You

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    I give you +1
    (Nice parkour.)
    -I_Just_Loved_You
     
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  16. ItsEchoYT

    ItsEchoYT

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    Amazing map dude. The textures are amazing, and the overall feel of the map is there as well.

    Keep up the great work my dude <3
     
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  17. ItsHarry

    ItsHarry Owner Staff Member Owner

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    Added
     
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