My body

Follow-up to my other thread on some current struggles I've been going through. Relates to a similar topic that really has been giving me trouble for, well, the majority of my life but has been better seen only as of recently.

I'm overweight, to make that clear if you didn't get it from my other thread. I've been overweight my entire life really but never to the extent that I am now. I have never before weighed this much in my life and..I don't know how to feel about it.

I don't know if this has any correlation to my issues with depression or anxiety but it's like at specific times I'm feeling horrible about how I look and others, I don't really care. It's random it seems and I don't know why it happens the way it does. Deep down inside I know this, I don't like the position I put myself in. I don't enjoy being the overweight kid, I don't enjoy knowing people are afraid you'll knock into them in gym class and ultimately hurt someone. I don't enjoy knowing I have so much more body mass than the majority of my fellow teammates on the sports field. I don't enjoy not being able to have the same amount of energy and athleticism everyone else has. I think I made my point.

But again, having the inspiration of wanting to actually fix this isn't always there. I've had spurts where I wanted to be inspired and I tried different things, I changed my phone home-screen to an inspiration message, I've listened to more inspiring music while exercising but it never lasts. The highest point I ever reached was getting down to 180 pounds but that was almost 2 years ago now.

I've had thoughts as to why my lack of inspiration dwells. I don't particularly come from a family in the best of shape. I am not going to dive deeper into that but I feel maybe my surrounding area with all the junk food, carbs, and quiet environment causes me to gain a lazyness trait of not wanting to do anything. Being constantly tired due to school doesn't help it either I don't think.

I know none of you are professional therapists or anything, but this is partially because I truthfully think that some support wouldn't hurt my current situation. I'm already in thought about getting a gym membership but I have fears that it'll ultimately be a waste of my money because I lack the inspiration to keep something like this going on a constant basis. I'm still also hung up on being self-conscious about my body size and exercising in front of others but that is one minor obstacle compared to actually having the inspiration of trying something like this. I also want to try to keep this thread as a reminder of the feeling of wanting help and wanting to fix the problem for the time where I frankly couldn't care one bit. Thanks for reading everyone.

 

Having motivation can be really hard, especially when you have to struggle with mental illness everyday. Instead of getting a gym membership right now, it would probably be easier to just take really small steps. Like, starting with food. Being surrounded by unhealthy foods is very tempting and it's a hard habit to break out of. Personally, I tell myself that if I'm not hungry enough to want to eat any fruits or vegetables, then I shouldn't go eat chips or something. Also, drinking a lot of water does help.

It would also help if you downloaded a calorie tracking app, or something like weight watchers. However, restricting calories isn't a smart idea because it almost always leads to late night binging because you're not getting enough food during the day. Apps like that are very helpful because they can give you a healthy calorie intake for the day based on your weight and height. But once again, it does take some willpower and self control.

In my opinion, going to the gym is probably better than working out at home because you have to actually get up to do it. But, it's still very hard to get up and leave when you're unmotivated. If you're exercising at home, there are a lot of helpful workout apps that set up personalized workouts based on what your goal is. They also send you notifications when it's actually time to work out. You could also try joining a school sports team (if you're still in school). I never wanted to work out, but then when I joined a team I kinda had to do it everyday.

Now, I understand how hard it is to do all of this, and it may not even help you. But, you are young and still have a lot of time in your life to better yourself. I really hope that everything gets better for you. Mental and physical health wise. It's very brave of you to talk about stuff like this to a bunch of people on the internet. I wish you the best of luck <3

 

I've been borderline obese since the age of 7. My heart rate is getting higher. My social anxiety is increasing (especially coming into high school as a freshman). I feel guilt for no reason sometimes. Visiting the doctor makes me stressed and fearful that they'll comment on my weight. This post touched me through the screen because I am in the same boat as you.

I am also uninspired as heck right now, especially as it's getting colder where I live and I want to stay in and keep warm. I'm stuck in an endless cycle of "I want to get in shape yeah that sounds cool" and "WTF why does it take so much work to do something like this??" Commitment is such a huge struggle for me as well, so much so that I get frustrated with myself time to time. It feels like there's two people inside me: a personal fitness coach that wants to keep going and the more relatable couch potato that just wants to eat one more french fry.

However, I'm still determined to reach my goal of getting healthy. I know you are too, and I just want you to know that you are not alone in this long and taxing fight. We'll both overcome this obstacle one day, and that day might just be around the corner.

I'm sure you don't know me that well, but I'm always open to a PM or something if you feel like it.

 

I'm about 15 and I weigh 210 pounds.

I wouldn't say I am necessarily "overweight" or even "fat", (seeing that I am about 6'2" and a fairly "beefy", if that makes sense), but I am definitely chubby and there comes times where I do feel insecure about my body and how I look. One example I can think about straight away was last year when my girlfriend broke up with me, I started feeling super bad about myself and my body and I wanted to work out all day and actually become "hot" and "manly" and blah blah blah, we've all been there. I never got to it, though, as I realized that I wasn't doing this for myself, but for others. I have come to realize the following sentence which fully changed my life: You can't make anyone happy if you can't make yourself happy.

All of what I've bolded shows you comparing yourself to others. So, ask yourself: "why do I feel bad about my body?". If you just want to lose weight because you get bullied, or because a girl you're attracted to, or just overall because of someone else, you'll never be able to do it as it doesn't come from yourself.

What you have to learn is to accept your body. As cliché as that sounds, accepting your body is the first step to being happy in life. When I stopped trying to be attractive cause I "wanted my girlfriend back" or "my friends are skinnier than me", this is when I started being genuinely happy in life. I look at myself in the mirror and love what I see, I tell myself, and genuinely believe I'm a very attractive person, even though I barely changed. I sleep at night knowing I am happy about myself. Every breath now feels good because I know that I'm alive and I love my life.

All this maybe sounds very narcissist, but you know what? It works. Ever since I started accepting myself, I unconsciously started doing more exercice and going outside with my friends more. I do more of what I love in life. I enjoy school more. Myself and the people around me find me more attractive than they did before. My life has overall gotten a lot better because I stood up straight and started loving myself instead of just loving and helping others while feeling empty inside.

SMG, after reading this message, I want you to go in the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. I want you to ask yourself what your qualities are. If you can't find any, try again. Because I know that, even physically, you must have some good qualities. Put yourself in the mindset that you're a great and attractive person and stand up straight and proud, and I promise that the day you'll truly love yourself, you'll feel better than when anyone else will love you. You'll lose weight faster than you ever did if you do it while loving yourself. Try to improve something you already have instead of getting something you don't have, because otherwise, you'll never get far when it comes to this.

----> You can't make anyone happy if you can't make yourself happy. <----

As always, if you ever need to speak to anyone, please, send me a pm through discord. I'll always be ready to talk.

 

Try going to the gym with friends, I find it very encouraging. I've been going to gym for the late 4 months and I've only managed to get myself to go alone once. Eating healthy is super important too btw, but usually going to the gym gives people a lot of confidence and they learn to appreciate their body more.

 

I thoroughly believe that if you want to change yourself, you cannot rely on some form of outer motivation. Relying on motivation by comparison specifically is very mentally draining and does more damage in the long run compared to the immediate closure some people experience. It's perfectly fine to look up to someone, as far as body image and fitness or whatever the reason may be, but you're fully responsible for your own actions. By no means am I trying to demean you, it takes a lot of courage to even admit let alone say what you have said here. It's truly admirable and I feel anyone going through similar ordeals will find closure and eventually the courage within themselves to make the change they want happen.

 

Thanks everyone for the kind replies. I stated multiple times above and in my other thread that this is an ongoing issue that I do plan on trying to work towards fixing. Unlike the previous two times where I just went in and ran/exercised crazy amounts per day and quickly limiting how much I eat, I'm going to hopefully take it slower this time. I have plans on trying to get something done with my therapist I see monthly once my appointment with him comes up, and try to spend the time I have outside of school at-least going for a walk or something of that manner. I want to try to keep a journal of the days I walk/how much I walked/how long I walked and all that. The issue with my eating habits is ultimately going to be the hardest part of all this I feel and don't think I'd be able to stop on my own. I hope that something can be done but junkfood/unhealthy food is everywhere these days and it's so easy to just get back in that little bad routine of binging/constantly eating it like I have done in the past.

Few FYI's, some permanent things I have changed over the years is that I no longer drink soda (stopped january of 2017), and I eat a low breakfast of a protein bar instead of things full of carbs and all that. Other changes have been temporary but hopefully...I can turn some of them into permanent parts of my life.

I still want to try to get a gym membership but I want it to be a last resort mainly due to my income and unknowing if I would fully use it to the best of my ability. I don't want to pay for something and then never use it, or rarely.

Again guys, thank you all. I cherish you all, I cherish this community and I trust you all to know about some current struggles I may be having. I hope that this puts some trust in some of you who may be struggling to come out and just try to talk about it, but be careful about what you reveal online as always.

 

I’ve never struggled with my weight, but I see how difficult it can be. You’re all still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Start eating clean foods with low sugar and fats. It’s also important to start excising. Even if it’s a small amount every other day to slowly get your body in a different mind set. Excising will make you feel better physically and mentally. I know it’s hard, but it’s important to set individual goals and strive for it everyday.

I firmly believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. It all starts with a simple “I can”.