Confused

If I had to pick the hardest thread that I ever had to make on here, this would be the one. I didn't want to make this thread, but I knew that if I did, you guys would be informed about what has been going on with me lately.

It all started about three weeks back. I started to feel sad and when I say sad, I mean depressed.
My mom wasn't concerned at first since I have been sad in the past for a couple days here and there.. but the depression didn't stop after just a couple of days. I was depressed for about a week straight and that is when my mom became concerned. She asked me if everything was okay and I told her yes. I would just come home crying about various things. Things such as life, school, and my job were a big part of me being upset, but it soon became more than that. I started to feel really sad to the point where everything went down hill. My grades started to drop about two weeks ago, but I quickly got them back up. A couple of days ago when I came home again crying and upset, my mom said that she would schedule me to talk to a counselor and possibly get put on anti-depressants.

I told my mom most of the issues that I was having. I told her that I was bad at making decisions and I told her that I felt like no one in my life was there for me. I talked to her about my irl friends and how they seem to just use me for things and don't even care about me or my well being. I told her that I get terrible anxiety and that sometimes I seem to be really happy and other times I seem to be very upset. She understood and listened to me, but there were still some things I didn't tell her. I also made it clear to her just two days ago that I didn't feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger about my problems. I also told her that I didn't want to have to take medication if I didn't need it, but she insists that I do need it.

Anyways, this is where the hard part begins. This is very uncomfortable for me to say and almost upsetting, but basically, I'm bi. The hard part about this is that I still haven't told my mom or anyone irl. It has been very uncomfortable for me to discuss and talk about. I didn't want to make this thread because I didn't want people to see me as a different person or think of me as just "that bi person." I don't really like to be labeled and I like to be myself, so just making this thread to tell you guys, is very unsettling for me to do. The funny part is that I have known that I wasn't fully straight since I was about thirteen or fourteen. I used to get so upset and cry and think to myself that I was weird or different. I felt so uncomfortable about myself and I still do. I have been called rude terms in the past that have really put me down. Some terms include things such as being called "gay" or a "faggot." I didn't like being called these terms even if the people saying them were just joking. I knew that I wasn't gay because I have had crushes on girls in the past. I currently even have a crush on a girl irl right now, but I still can't deny the feelings I have felt in the past to the people of the same gender.

I just have felt so low of myself lately. I have felt so drained of energy and I have just been feeling like a total piece of shit tbh. I also feel like I have been lying to myself and the people I know irl for so long now. It is super upsetting and I am trying my best to cope with these awkward feelings, but it is tough. I have never felt accepted really and it is hard for me to handle all these new issues that keep popping up. Yes, I have had many issues in the past, but this has got to be the toughest one of them all. I just feel alone and I try to cover it up with my "cheery" and "nice" personality, but I just feel like that doesn't work anymore and I feel like I am lying to all of you on here and I don't like that.

So let me just be honest on how I feel right now,
I feel sad, depressed, confused and frustrated. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone irl yet, but hopefully you guys are willing to help me with such a confusing time in my life.

Also, I swear if anyone says this is for attention or anything, I will get really upset. I didn't even want to make this at all, but it seems like I have nothing left to do.

 

You'll always be the same Joseph I know. Congrats on coming out and I hope that seeing someone and just using the tips your mom suggested will work. I know how you feel, and this is why I hoped you'd want to talk to me because I was noticing you were just down.. I really hope things get better for you and just know that no matter what I say or do I'll always be here for you man.

 

YAY U DID IT I LOVE YOU JOSEPH STAY STRONG IK THIS MEANS ALOT TO YOU!

 

Joseph, we've had this talk already, and I'll say it over and over again. You are an amazing person, and amazing human being. Anyone who thinks otherwise after making this, saying rude things to you and calling you names, should be instantly cut out of your life. I as well still have to tell my parents and anyone IRL that I feel should know, but that's the scary part. Society will give us labels and name tags of what they think we are, and all that is complete total BS. I'm here for you Joseph, just like how you're here for me. I've got your back, I'll pick you up when you're down, I'll make you smile and laugh when you're sad and you damn well know I can do that. It's great to come out though, and you know what.. Who cares what people think. You're still Joseph, the Joseph I know is amazing, intelligent and all around a great guy. I'm happy for you! c:

 

joseph i fucking love you, dont forget that, and i love you, and idk if i said this already but i love you.

 

This would never change my opinion of you, Joseph. I don't think anything would. This took a lot of courage for you to do. I'm so proud of you. Your friends and I will always be here for you when you need it. (I respond right away when you pm me, anyway xD) Anyways, I'm so happy you did this. You're an amazing person with an amazing personality. Congratulations on coming out. You have my full support, always. cx <3

 

I am so proud of you, Joseph! You are such and inspiration because of your positive attitude and you are honestly, goals. I am just SO HAPPY for you! If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you and will help in any way possible and I am 100% supporting you about this!

 

I don't think any different of you and neither should anyone else. It's a part of who you are and no one should be judged on their sexuality. I hope that one day we'll be able to live in a world where no one thinks anything of it if someone isn't straight. It takes a lot of courage to come out like you did and I really do think that you're an amazing person. Things will get better, trust me. It may not seem like it now but things will get better.
I'm always here if you need to talk because I can relate to a lot of what you're going through.

 

Zackwich said it all.
People who put you down
or say rude things aren't worthy of you.
You're amazing and you have tons of friends
who care about you.
Hopefully, you can soon come out to your family
and friends irl too.
That will probably go a long way with helping
your sadness/depression.
Congrats! =)

 

Your sexuality will never change who you are in my eyes, Joseph. Do not ever think that you will ever change in my eyes because you will always be the same Joseph I know and love so do not think that I or anyone else will think of you differently because of your sexuality. I am really proud and so happy that you are staying true to yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Do not think that this will effect our friendship.

 

Joseph. You are a amazing person who doesn't deserves hate. You are one of the most amazing people I have met. Honestly many people have gone thorough depression and not many have made it out, but doesn't mean that you have to lose hope. I know you can over come this problem. If you ever need help or just want to talk I'm here for you man. Just always remember. We all care about you.

 

It's hard to express who you really are, but you did. I am proud of you.

 

This is the basics of every post on this thread so far, but there is nothing else it could be. If it was different, it would be wrong.

If anyone did disagree, that is their opinion, not ours. The strain and stress it would have taken to press that "Create Thread" at the beginning of this is beyond me. So I am proud of you for doing this, yet I do not know you as a friend, but I know others do.

 

I know that what you are going through is really tough on your mind, but everything will get better for you.
You've been such an amazing friend to me and you coming out would never change anything in our friendship, just like it shouldn't effect anyone else's views of you. If you ever need someone to talk to, please come to me.

 

I can really understand what you're going through. I really hope, that everything will get better for you. It will, trust me.
In my perspective, you seem like one of the nicest, kindest and unique people in this community and you deserve all the help and support in the world, since no one deserves to be at such confusing and pressuring event in their life. I'm very proud of you for having the will and guts to write all of this despite of all the confusion.

In addition, there are so many positive and amazing values in you. I can't even put into words on how amazing you are, Joseph. You're so nice, friendly, caring for your friends and very warmhearted person. I'm 100% sure, that your friends and this community care about you more than you know, and so am I.

Your sexuality will never change how I see you. It is a huge part of who you are. Don't judge yourself for who you're not. Accept your true identity, you true self. Others, as for the society can judge you all they want, but who cares? As for coming out to family, yes, I know that it is very hard to come out "different" to people, that you deeply care about. Take your time, I'm sure that you'll find the right time to tell your mom and your family. Whenever you'll feel comfortable to tell. Remember, you're not alone. Thank you for being honest.

If you want to talk about almost everything, I'm here for you. Even though, I do not know you, I care more than you know. I believe in you, Joseph.

Love you, man.

 

saying this must be really hard. But never forget. You have so many amazing friends who are always by ur side to support u no matter what.

 

Joseph, you are truly an amazing friend. I can only imagine what you're going through, but always know that your real friends will never judge you. It takes a lot of guts to talk about these things and I respect you for it. Just remember it doesn't matter if you're gay, bi, or straight. You're still the awesome Joseph we all love. I hope you know that if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. I truly am proud of you. Stay strong man! :)

 

Thank you to all the support that you guys have given me so far. It means a lot since I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt lost, but I feel like slowly I am finding my way back on track. I never really wanted to originally make this thread because it was odd for me to, but I feel a lot better now. I can't thank you all enough. It has made me happier the past few days reading all the replies and just reading all the support people have given me. You guys are amazing c: