An honest thread,

an honest thread,
I've been really silent on my situation recently, and sometimes it's for the best. I've been biting my tongue on multiple situations, especially school.

I've lost a lot of my previous confidence, I mean, I am completely drained. I do have a few reasons for this, which still hurts me to say.
In January, my former best friend and I went through an insane fall out, and she left me for my ex-boyfriend. The story is complicated, but once upon a time ago, we were the shit. God, do I miss those times.

As a result (of my loss of confidence), I have struggled in school and in general having a hard time. Teachers constantly tell me that I am speaking too low (even my English teacher), which is a problem that I still have problems with. I am sure that you're aware I live in Spain (which means, yes, I go to a Spanish speaking school). Fortunately for me, I do have Spanish background, and I was raised with the Spanish language, but I lost it overtime.
In September, they actually put me into 7th grade instead of 8th grade because of the language problem, but I eventually moved up into 8th grade.

Ever since my former best friend left me, I have had a hard time. I did meet some amazing people, however, and they've helped me through this time, and I couldn't do it without them.
However, I don't get to see them all the time (such as the school day) so I tend to sit alone during recess (they continue to have recess here until 12th grade) and have been trying to figure things out on my own.

That resulted in me failing Chemistry, German and Spanish (although, this is 8th grade Spanish for Spanish speakers).

I've tried everything to found my escape, which did include being toxic, being lazy and being careless. This thread isn't really an excuse for my actions, but more a reason for my actions.

TL;DR: school has been really hard for me and i've failed a few classes which has lead to me getting really emotionally fucked up.

I also changed my name to "Cambiado", the Spanish word for Changed.

- Ex

 

awh man

i hope life gets better for you

if ya need someone to talk to about anything that's bothering you, i gotchu

 

Aw that sucks dude. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes well, if you need to talk feel free to start a convo.

 

Thank you both, I appreciate.

So far, things seem to be looking up for me, today I learned that I got an A in English and in Technology, and I don't think I am going to fail any classes (except Chemistry, but I am starting to understand it, and to me, that's what matters).

I will start to become more active on the forums, the break was very important for me.

 

honestly confidence is something that can easily be lost, and earned depending on ur state of mind. i can honestly relate to how you must be feeling, sometimes i feel so confident w myself when i go to school and this it's completely shattered when something comes out of somebody's mouth. and, dont stress to much about failing. i'm sure you'll be okay in the end, ive had a couple of hiccups in terms of grades this year but they've only taught me how to improve, revise more & do more homework regularly.

everything is gonna be alright ♡

 

Is there a way I can contact you privately? Ex: PM or Discord? I don't know if I want to post what I want to tell you here, since it's a little personal for me. But I am going to tell you this: You have to be ready for the worst. If you feel like something in life is going to go wrong, give the best you can do, and get ready to get hit. If you know you can't avoid it, then make sure you are ready for it, and fight back. Don't give up.