What's the funniest thing your teacher(s) has/have said?

"Last time I checked, I'm not Mr. Eckley," my science teacher once said.

 

My teacher told his ex gf to f off on the phone infront of the class. Crap was funny af.

 

One time, this really annoying kid would not stop talking to me, even after both me and the teacher had told him to stop multiple times. After a while, I hit him over the head with a book. (It felt so good.) He went up to the teacher and told him, and he goes, "Well he clearly didn't hit you hard enough if you're still talking."

 

One time this real weak kid was picking a fight with me in class. So I picked him up and dropped him in the floor. My teacher walks in and he's like "BLAKE!" I look at him then he says "Good job," then I give him a thumbs up

 

not a thing but our english teacher is a savage

he caught a kid eating in class so he took the sweets and gave one to the rest of the class then ate the rest

 

Get your planners out, write in your homework.

 

My English teacher wants said to me "you play Waterpolo right. I replied ya and then he responded with I swim. I'm like cool we should swim together one day and he's like just wait till u see me in a speedo keep In mind he's 60 XD. He's a cute little old guy

 

"Talk to the booty, because the hand is off duty."

 

"Stop touching (insert name here)"

"Katlyn stop staring at Ella, we all ready know shes pretty"

"Kids, if you want to grow a beautiful plant, use salt water then give it steroids"

 

"Don't spend your Disney money at Hot Topic."
-My band director on our trip to Disneyworld in March

 

This boy was making funny noises and disrupting our class so i went over and pushed everything off the desk and grabbed him to push him off his seat

Teacher:-Thank you (name)

 

"If I can't see you, you can't see me." I find this hilarious because it's completely ridicules.

 

My science teacher in 6th grade said enthusiastically, "That's a LOT of sperm!"

 

Chemistry teacher says this often, "If one of you forgets your homework, I'm keeping the AC off for the rest of the year, and I'll have you know, I get gassy when it's hot."

Another instance, "If someone is presenting and they make a mistake, what do you do? Laugh at them, and if it's a girl, laugh harder."

When I did my Economics finals last Wednesday, he was the room supervisor, he kept doing this, "You have 120 minutes left, you have 115 minutes left, you have 110 minutes left." And so on.

When I finished the exam, "The light is green, go go go, get outta here before I blow this whistle." @Nano

 

My gosh, you're all bullies. Just because someone is causing a problem, doesn't give anyone the right to physically touch him/her.

 

My 7th grade writing teacher had this lisp and she would say "shit down" instead of "sit down"

 

This happened during lunch break. My teacher and I was playing Pool Table in the Drama Studio, And he lost.. So he said "Shit" under his breath. So I said "Better luck again next time, Sir"

 

In Drama, we had to play the role of some old witches.
The teacher then talked to us about the scripts and stuff and accidentally said something like 'Remember, just suck it up and be bitches.'
The whole class fricken died from laughter, and it took a minute for him to realise what he said. xD

 

This is the first time I've done that to anyone and bullying is constant harassment

 

It does :)