Tell me your favorite jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussion / Real life stuff' started by ItsJerry, May 10, 2015.

  1. ItsJerry

    ItsJerry DEAD SERVER!!! LMAO!!! Staff Member Owner

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    I think you mean square root of 2
     
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  2. Kick_In_Ass_

    Kick_In_Ass_ Lol Donator

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    A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
    The bartender asks:"Do you mean a Martini?"
    The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Another Roman walks in to the bar, holds up two fingers and says: "Five beers please!"


    A programmer's wife telss him:"Go to the store and get a loaf of bread, if they have eggs, get a dozen"
    The programmer comes back home with 12 loaves of bread.
    Not your usual funny don't kille me pls
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2015
  3. Ninjafoya

    Ninjafoya

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    What's a joke?
    ALL OF YOU!!
     
  4. teitan

    teitan ‏‏‎ Donator

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    if (eggs==true){
    bring.bread(12)
    }
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2015
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  5. Millerco

    Millerco [God]

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    Why did the turkey cross the road... because the chicken got fried!
     
  6. Leandro

    Leandro Donator

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    Read again what you posted, and think again.
     
  7. Cloud3y

    Cloud3y ѕωєg

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    Previously,
    This young man said this. I didn't find this disrespectful (and no one else probably did) because it was a joke. If you want the last post, be my guest but please allow the thread to continue without making a fuss.
     
  8. YFIOTR

    YFIOTR Donator

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    Women's rights as a joke is just as disrespectful as if I said ___ (Insert Race)'s rights. Therefore, people need to be a bit more sensitive, and this shall not be discussed further. Pm me about if u disagree.
     
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  9. CaptainJackValdy

    CaptainJackValdy I got a plan to save the server, just have faith

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    Why do I spam?

    Cuz why not?
     
  10. Soupbased

    Soupbased Donator

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    two people walk into a bar
    person 1: I'd like h20 pls
    person 2: I'd like h20 too.
    the second person dies.

    also sodium jokes:
    sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium batman!!

    anyone else got sodium jokes? na.


    someone pls get these jokes
     
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  11. NoahMC

    NoahMC

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    Sorry I saw this somewhere and just had to post it

    Old people always come to me at weddings and poke me saying you're next.

    So I started doing the same to them at funerals
     
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  12. _ItsMayDay

    _ItsMayDay Smol Blueberry Pun Skele 4 Life Donator

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    LolNope. If I had one, it'd most likely be "SmolSkel"
    How MY graduation ceremony will go down...

    Announcer: Well... uh... you did... what did you do in your last 17 years of being alive?
    Graduate: Not die.
    Announcer: No, other than that.
    Graduate: I've been wondering that for the last 17 years of my life in which I did not die.
     
  13. athenswill

    athenswill ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    What do sprinters eat before they run?
    Nothing! They fast.
     
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  14. PhantomStar

    PhantomStar Zzzzz... Donator

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    What did the cannibal girl do after she dumped her boyfriend?


    She wiped her butt.
     
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  15. Millerco

    Millerco [God]

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    *Claps for the next 10 minutes.
     
  16. Contemptible

    Contemptible | Former Mοd | Donator

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    Q: Whats Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable?
    A: Barackoli
     
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  17. Ninjafoya

    Ninjafoya

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    I'm not a man.
    Nor young.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2015
  18. NekoNebulus

    NekoNebulus Donator

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    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
     
  19. Ayg

    Ayg life is interesting :)

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    So he could be roasted :D
    I just made it up ;-; sucks lool..
     
  20. NekoNebulus

    NekoNebulus Donator

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    @Ayg
    What do you call a pig with a sunburn?

    Bacon
     
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