Life Rant

Discussion in 'General Discussion / Real life stuff' started by ApricotPrince, Dec 7, 2018.

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  1. ApricotPrince

    ApricotPrince mason (he/they)

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    This is just going to be a rant, so don't feel obligated to read it, but if you want to, feel free.

    Basically, I've fucked up my life. I transferred from public school to online school in the beginning of 6th grade when the only thing wrong with my school life at the time was my attendance, got lazy and depressed and fell behind as a result (I'm currently doing Freshman work when I'm supposed to be a Junior, and still not really doing the work). Developed severe general/social anxiety, isolated myself, really just let myself go. Now, I'm trying to clean up the mess I've made, but I lose motivation so easily. I have nothing/no one pushing me to get shit done, and I have zero self-discipline. I don't have a job because of my anxiety and other stuff, I don't have my license. My only social life is online, my family that I live with, and my girlfriend (who I don't see as often as I want to). I feel like I'm completely screwed because I know that I can't get out of this by myself. I've asked to see a therapist but my mom doesn't take it as seriously as I wish she would, so I haven't. I'm watching my life pass me by instead of living it, and I'm sick of it, but I don't know how to change that. I've tried, but I need to stop trying and start doing. I'm not okay and I need to stop normalizing my problems.
     
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  2. witchchick128

    witchchick128 Amity Blight Donator

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    this is my advice and it's what's helping me right now:

    think of a dream you have for yourself, a passion you have, or a job you want to pursue
    think of the place you are in right now
    think 'how can i get to where i want to be?'

    that little motivation for your future should be enough motivation to start cleaning yourself up.

    if you want, start physically. clean up your room, go downstairs and wash the dishes or something. just do things that are helpful, preferably for yourself, but for others as well. it'll make you feel better. then with that, along with the dream motivation mentioned earlier, you'll have a good start of momentum to push yourself forward.

    for your mental... well, i don't know how you struggle with that, so it's a little odd to give you the wrong advice for the wrong kind of anxiety.
    if it's about looks, honestly, no one really cares. i'm a fashion geek, and i still just wear whatever i want.
    if it's about looking or saying something weird, then don't surround yourself with the people who perceive you as weird. start surrounding yourself with people who appreciate the weirdness. that's what i did. that's what i continue to do to this day!
    there's a lot of things to be anxious over, but those are the main two i struggle with
    that will also make you feel better, at least a smile on your face.

    also, sit down with your mom and TELL HER HOW FUCKING SERIOUS IT IS. I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH. i've been depressed through the entirety of 2018, and once my mom found out, i felt SOOO much better. now, i don't need therapy, but if it's that bad, FUCKING TELL HER. really fucking stress how bad it is. even if you come off overly dramatic. that's the point! it's bad! i can see that and i've read, like, two of your threads! seriously, girl, it's SOOO much better to say these things, literally to ANYONE. your girlfriend, online friends, your parents, siblings, dog, whatever god you believe in, the demogorgons of selzar, just tell it to SOMEBODY! you will take a (or more than one) vital step forward from doing so.

    if you need anybody to push you forward, hit me up. i like doing that sort of thing.

    and if you really can't bring yourself forward, get somebody, even a few people, to drag you. you will not give up.

    the only person who can save you is yourself.

    much love and support from me, hope this helped <33
     
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  3. NoThisIsAmanda

    NoThisIsAmanda manda Donator

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    that's how my parents were at first, but you should pls try really hard to convince her. therapy and getting prescribed medication literally improved my life so much, and would most likely do the same for you. stay strong
     
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  4. Soap

    Soap Donator

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    I agree with Amanda when saying that medication and therapy can have a huge impact. Talk to your mom and make her realize how much it means to you to cure your anxiety. I’ve gone through a very similar experience and I believe the best way to cure it is by taking action and forcing yourself to do so. Good luck and stay strong, the future is always better.
     
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  5. ApricotPrince

    ApricotPrince mason (he/they)

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    Thank you so much. It sucks because I feel like I really don't have any passions anymore, except for music, but I'm not motivated enough to do anything about it. Listening to music helps me a lot though. Also, when I get really bad like this I usually clean my room and the rest of the apartment if I have the energy because it really does make me feel better.

    I get anxiety about everything, and a lot of the time it is about looks or being afraid of saying something stupid or wrong, but a lot of the time I have no idea what's causing it. I just get to the point where I feel like I can't do anything and I get really short and irritable with things and people and sometimes it even gets to the point of anxiety/panic attacks. I think that's something that I could benefit from therapy for.

    I've tried to tell my mom how serious it is. My sister has a lot of the same problems that I do but I don't think really to the same extent and she's sort of in the same situation as I am with my mom not doing much about it (but the difference is, she's 18, almost 19, so if she really needs to, she can do things to help herself. I'm a minor I'm fairly limited in what I can do for myself). I also am not good at talking about how I'm feeling or anything like that, especially with my mom for some reason, because I feel uncomfortable and I don't like being vulnerable (even though I know there's nothing wrong with it). I'm really glad that you started feeling better after your mom found out. <3

    My girlfriend pushes me to do better and she understands a lot of what I'm going through. I appreciate her so fucking much. But there's only so much she can do, you know? I have to do figure out how to better myself on my own, but she's honestly an amazing support system and I love her. But again with the vulnerable thing, I feel weird even talking to her about things.

    This really helped. Thank you for letting me know that I can message you, I might have to take you up on that soon. <3
    I started on Zoloft a couple months ago (I think), but I only got one refill and then my mom didn't get another one. She asked if it was helping me or if I wanted to try and see if another one would work better, so I told her that I wanted to go another month on Zoloft and possibly up my dose and see how I felt, but she hasn't gotten more, so I've been off of meds for a little while now. I think it really did help me for the most part, at least a little bit. I still really want to go to therapy. I'm so glad it's helped you, and I hope you're doing better now. : )
    Thank you so much.

    Btw if any of you ever need or wanna talk you can always hmu too.
     
  6. witchchick128

    witchchick128 Amity Blight Donator

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    well, become a musician. or something of sorts. can you play an instrument? if so, try playing a song and upload it (obviously with encouragement from others)
    can you sing? do the same.
    if you can't do either, learn. i taught myself how to sing through just replicating music and i'm currently learning guitar / drums (i'm pretty good at drums but shit at the guitar)
    even if it comes out bad the first time, remember, practice makes perfect.

    anxiety: use the advice i suggested in my previous post

    also, could you try talking to your sister? or is that out of the question? because maybe she could do you one and help you out. i imagine that you two have somewhat of a relationship, correct me if wrong. don't think you can only talk to a primary source, i.e. a parent or guardian. try talking to another person close to you with similar issues. unfortunately, i'm young and none of my friends have depression or anything (legit some of them just say they have depression but they don't know what it is LMFAO), so i can't really do this. and most of my family members have very bad depression, while i only have an 'eh' level. if you feel uncomfortable doing this, absolutely fine. but you need to start expressing how you feel. nobody's gonna laugh at you for telling them your feelings. a camera crew isn't gonna burst in and interview you about how depressed you are. you'll get somewhere. wether that be a step forward or fifty, it's still progress.

    listen, the feeling of 'weird' when talking about your emotions is natural. not many people see that side of a person. and if they do on a regular, it's over-exaggerated. people like to shove those thoughts down into a little box in the back of the mind, but that box should be on the top. now, am i saying that you should be a depressed mope and cry every 5 minutes in front of people? no. am i saying that you should be yourself and express you and how you feel? yes. tell it to SOMEONE. even if you feel weird. you never know, maybe your girl tells her parents and they put you in therapy or something. now, i don't really find that likely, but you never fuckin know!

    also, you can message me here or on my discord (goon#8892)

    i don't think i'll make another post because i feel like i'm just repeating information but you get my point
    hope these helped <3
     
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  7. dinoceros

    dinoceros Donator

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    I really wish that I could give advice, however, that situation is very far from mine and I can't relate to it whatsoever. However, if you ever need anyone to speak to or vent to, please DM me on Discord. I'll listen to everything you have to say and I'll help as much as I can.

    About therapy: In my opinion, you should try finding solutions yourself before going to therapy. By that, I mean speaking to your parents on a more serious level and trying to understand your emotions and problems by yourself to find what makes you happy in life. I currently go to a therapist at school (for free, of course) and I frankly think it's not worth to spend the high costs of therapy unless your situation is very bad and you are very mentally confused and low. For me, therapy helps me just because I can speak to the therapist about all my problems and basically vent lmfao. If you have a good understanding of your emotions and what makes you happy, don't go and spend hundreds on therapy because all the therapist is gonna tell you is "try to understand your emotions" and "do more of what makes you happy". Basically stuff you probably already know. Much better to just vent to a friend or your girlfriend or your parents or whoever else.

    However, if you really do need therapy, don't stop yourself from going.

    stay strong <3
     
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  8. Acepilot092

    Acepilot092 youtuber

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    In a few ways I can probably relate to some of the stuff you're going through. I sometimes get social anxiety because I don't like talking for to long, I sometimes isolate my self because sometimes need my alone time, but I never let myself go, instead I try to live my life to the fullest. And while I know that it can be hard sometimes, you still have to at least try, because it can be beneficial. I know what it feels like to lose your motivation to do anything. I don't know entirely whats happening in your life, but Ill do my best to help you out with this, even though I'm not the best at giving advice, but either way, Ill be there to help you. I also have a discord, so if you need someone to talk to, add me on discord and DM me.
     
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