'CHRISTOPHER DE FESH' Explanation and Information

Close ones of mine have noticed that whenever I see a fish, I enter a persona of mine, traits including: poor Russian accent, high volumes, and airy vocals. This is a joke that I've only shared to one of my IRL friends (who I have lost contact with), so I figured I would tell the closest community to myself what it meant.

Origins / Explanation
CHRISTOPHER DE FESH (pronounced KRES-TOH-PH-URR-DEH-FEHSH) originated from a dream I had about 9 months ago. The entire thing is in third person and almost looks like a skit of sorts. The story goes as follows: TimTheTatMan wakes up one day and feels different. He suddenly has a hatred for ketchup and has a craving for grilled cheese and cereal (specifically a cereal called 'Cold Crunchies' which I imagine is a rip-off of Frosted Flakes). He suddenly has trouble breathing and gets constant asthma attacks. He also notices he's getting skinnier and more Asian. He eventually turns full Asian, almost identical to Andrew Huang. He leaves a convenience store with a bag of chips and notices he's turning blue, growing gills, and shrinking. He decides that he needs to find a pool and quick. He finds a kiddy pool and hops in just as he goes full fish. A young girl finds him and decides to cook him up and eat him. As the dream ends, it cuts to an old-timey commercial setting, with the girl eating CHRISTOPHER DE FESH. An old-timey voice says 'And, although nobody knew, she knew that 'This was my Christopher the fish.'

Originally, I didn't know who the fuck Christopher was, and why he was naming fish after himself in my weird-ass dreams.

Fast forward about a month or so, I become good lads with a kid a grade below me named 'Chris.' We also had our own little weird jokes. He would say that I couldn't get the chocolate bar or the granola bar, and I would chase him, yelling 'GET BACK HERE, CHRISTOPHER DE FESH' in a very heavy, poor Russian accent and slapping the back of his head. I guess the concept of 'CHRISTOPHER DE FESH' got stuck in my head. And now, every time a fish is mentioned or I see a fish whatsoever, I either scream or type in ALL CAPS 'CHRISTOPHER DE FESH' somewhere in a sentence.

Information
CHRISTOPHER DE FESH has a wife and 967 kids (a new child is born every time he doesn't give a fuck). His wife's name is Jay-Roam (contrary to popular belief, Jay-Roam is not @hmj , Jay-Roam is a different person.) He is a very caring father and loves rap music. He works at an iPhone factory making iPhones. His full name is a mystery, however it is rumoured that his name is one of the following: 'CHRISTOPHER FISHKOVITS,' 'CHRISTOPHING SHNAGRATIONALAIA,' or 'CHRISTINGTOPH ПОЛУЧИТЬ-ДЕНЬГИ-ВСЕ-ДЕНЬ.' His left foot has been numb since he was 14, despite not having feet. He is a fan of Digimon and is a heavy conservative. He is also the leader of new age Communism. His favourite games to play is Movie Star Planet and TF2.

His top 10 favourite children out of his 968 children are:
10. LOOSEE - She is studying to be a doctor and knows how to play her own ribcage.
9. MAHKSWEHL - He is a NSFW artist and often supplies new, fresh content for CHRISTOPHER every 26.82 seconds.
8. TOMOS - He is the leader of the Nazi party. Not the government system, he holds a party in Germany every 4 months, dubbing it 'Nazi' due to the fact that we don't have war going on currently.
7. неизвестный.mp4 - He keeps his identity hidden and CHRISTOPHER loves to solve mysteries, so he likes this child because it is the one mystery he can't solve (his name and location) as he was absent at his birth (playing Minecraft: PE).
6. RYELEE - He is good at math, and CHRISTOPHER can't even count.
5. JAH-Z - He raps, and is CHRISTOPHER's favourite artist.
4. TEYHLURR - She is swift, despite not being the singer.
3. JEYSUN - He hates his life, and that makes CHRISTOPHER happy for some reason.
2. E - No reason, he is the only one-letter child in the whole family, so CHRISTOPHER likes him.
1.HEFTYHEFTYHEFTYHEFTYHEFTY XIV PT. 2 HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY

That's about it.

So now, you just read a pointless post that only 2 people in the entire world get.
But now, you get it too.
<3

 

oh ok

 

you do you

 

damn i be getting laid

 

no, CHRISTOPHER's wife is another fish
and i'm pretty sure you're a human

wait I’m and idoit

 

wait how does that work

 

hang on lemme add some more info
there