I am Defectus.

Discussion in 'General Discussion / Real life stuff' started by Defectus, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. Defectus

    Defectus I love my wife Donator

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    I'd like to tell you the story of how I got here. The story of my map making career. The story of its eventual downfall and, ultimately, its rise again. There's a lot to tell.

    So let's start from the beginning.


    3rd of May, 2015
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    I created and published my very first Minecraft adventure map, InfiniSalmon, after being in development for maybe a month or two. The map didn't get a lot of attention, as I was back then essentially unknown as a map maker.
    At the time, however, I thought it was a wonderful map that deserved more attention for its creative story.
    I created the map for my pet cat, Skipper.

    15th of June, 2016
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    At this point in time, I had made 8 adventure maps, including InfiniSalmon. This collection was made of 2 trilogies of adventure maps, InfiniSalmon and Map, and another (incomplete at the time) trilogy, which connected the two stories, Focused Location. I had gained a fairly small name, I think.
    On the 15th of June, 2016, I woke up to find my pet cat, Skipper, lying lifeless in the garden. Being very connected to him, I was quite emotional for the next few weeks.
    Nine days from then, I would post Focused Location 3, which would be my final adventure map... in a way.

    7th of July, 2016
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    At one point in time I decided to submit InfiniSalmon to Minecraft Realms. I had thought it was good enough to get accepted and I wanted my cat's name to be remembered for a long time. For the first few days, I didn't get many comments on it, so I made another post asking for some feedback. Then, the day came.

    15th of July, 2016
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    July 15th, 2016 was most likely one of the worst days of my life. Coincidentally, it was exactly 1 month after Skipper had passed away.
    On that day, I had received a reply on my Realms submission by fellow map maker Plagiatus. He claimed that the map wasn't of high enough quality to be suitable for Realms, even lower than an average map.
    This, of course, offended me, but my reaction was a bit extreme. I parodied his criticism by mocking his map and showing how in my opinion his points could be applied to anything else. He later responded, claiming that I had specifically asked for feedback, and that criticism was an essential part of feedback. I didn't see it as criticism at the time, I saw it more as hatred. (By the way, if you'd like to know, I spoke to Plagiatus after this all cooled down. We're cool now.)
    We kind of went back and forth with each other for a while, posting walls of text, trying to disprove one another. At one point he added this line at the end of his reply:

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    This really angered me, so I decided to report this insult to Marc, the head of the Minecraft Realms development team, on Twitter.

    Marc didn't see this as a problem. He wasn't responsible for anything happening in the Realms subreddit. He was solely responsible for managing the maps that get to Realms.
    At the time I was in a bad mood, so I acted as if Marc was being insensitive to me. Marc claimed that, to get a map on Realms, you should probably first be easy to work with. I responded sarcastically saying that Marc and Plagiatus are essentially the same person, and...

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    I was banned from submitting maps to Realms.


    This came as a shock to me. I wasn't aware that simply insulting a Realms staff (I didn't even mean to insult him, by the way) could get me permanently banned from submitting maps.
    I kind of dropped the argument on the Realms submission after that, and kept working on my currently unfinished map, Section 7. However, this damaged my motivation quite a bit. I was making much slower progress now.

    21st of August, 2016
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    So, about a month passed. I was still working slowly and almost unwillingly on Section 7, occasionally dropping some teasers on Twitter here and there, but, nothing really interesting happened. I used to tweet out a lot, all the time, but in this entire period I tweeted maybe 10 times in total.
    Then, on August 21st, a friend of mine told me about this particular tweet that I attached above. In it, MrGarretto, the creator of the tweet and the video in the picture, shows a negative comment written by me on one of his videos, and claiming that I post a negative comment like this one on every one of his videos. Again, this was at a time when I had a fairly bad mood, and I understand that he was unaware of the situation. But I would like to point that I did not spam his videos with hatred. I posted a negative comment on maybe 2 other videos. However, I never posted a positive comment on his videos, either, so I can understand why he might have made that mistake.
    Either way, the replies to the tweet were the real meat here.

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    At the time I had a semi-severe case of depression, which I believe occurred directly because of the whole situation with the Realms submission. This chain of replies directly attacking me did not help at all.
    This not only angered me, but it scared me. It really did. I thought I was viewed as someone neat in the community but here I realized that I was despised by people whose videos I've seen myself in order to create my own maps.
    My friend, who showed me the tweet, said that in his opinion, the best way to save myself from this situation right now would be to start anew. Create a new account, disconnect it from my old account in every way possible, and try to gain a new name in the community. I didn't want to do this, but I knew that at this rate, it might be my only choice.
    I tried to hold on to my anger and ignore this chain of replies for as long as I could.
    I managed to do it for two days.

    23rd of August, 2016
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    On August 23rd, I took a look again at the chain of replies and I couldn't hold my anger anymore. I started to reply to a lot of people in the chain who accused me of doing things I never did. Some of them, to my surprise, noticed their mistakes and apologized. Some, however, were a bit more stubborn.
    Eventually, I decided to end the argument. I talked to my friend again and began planning out my new identity.

    24th of August, 2016
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    Looking back at the comments I made at that time and how I reacted to everything, I really regret it. I think it was completely immature, and so I was happy to abandon my old identity and start anew.

    On this day, I created my Twitter account and began my new identity there: Defectus. I chose the name because it is Latin for "imperfection". I wanted my main message to be that you can be great while not being perfect.
    There, I tweeted just some stuff I had in mind. I had no followers because, of course, no one knew me at the time except my old friends, whom I informed about the new identity.
    I think at the time my computer didn't work at all because of a fatal mistake I made, so I tweeted through my phone for a while.
    I began writing a script on my phone for a map idea I had. It started to grow on me, and when I could use my computer again, I immediately began working on it.
    Eventually, exactly 2 months after creating my new identity, it came to life.

    24th of October, 2016
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    As I got more and more used to my new identity, I started to realize how bad my old maps themselves actually were. They were really awful, and it kind of surprised me how good I used to think they were.
    In comparison to my old maps, What It's Like was five times as good as all of them combined, in my eyes. It's a relatively short map and there's not a lot of interaction, but the message it sends, I think, is really wonderful. If you do not want it spoiled, you can download it here.
    What It's Like also got a lot of very positive feedback. This was the first time I ever submitted a map to minecraftmaps.com, so it took me by surprise how many downloads it received. It usually took me weeks to get to even 50 downloads on Planet Minecraft. On Minecraft Maps, it took me about a week to get to 2,000.

    Immediately after I created What It's Like, I had a new idea for a map in mind. This is an idea that I've actually been developing in my mind for years, which I think was the reason I was so passionate about it.
    It took 7 months to create this next map, and I don't regret a second of them.

    7th of June, 2017
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    Arrendor has got to be my favorite map that I've ever made. It's an hour and a half long and it has an amazing story and incredible mechanics.
    Major Minecraft YouTuber PopularMMOs actually played this map, and made 5 videos on it. If you have not played Arrendor and have not seen a playthrough of it yet, I strongly recommend you play it yourself by downloading it here.
    I'm honestly not sure if I speak only for myself when I say that Arrendor is a great map, because not only was it featured for a full week on the website (I didn't even ask the moderators to feature it), it's currently ranked the eighth highest rated adventure map on Minecraft Maps.
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    After this map, I made another map, Internal Admiration, and then I quit map making, or, more generally, Minecraft. I had been playing the game for over 5 years now, and I wanted to expand to something else, so I began programming games in Unity Engine, and... well... here I am today.





    I know that through this post it seems like I've been portraying myself as a victim, but at this point, I don't really think I was a victim. I was immature, aggressive, and I didn't respect others. I think the people who criticized me had fair points and I just didn't know how to take it well.


    I am Defectus. Boy, does it feel good to say that out loud. I've been hiding my true identity for over a year now. Now that I know I won't return to Minecraft, I know there's no harm revealing myself. I hope I can forget all the terrible stuff I've done in the past and move on as a new, imperfect person.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2017
  2. Phoenix

    Phoenix Donator

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    I'm glad everything worked out for you, shit happens to everyone, and you'll get through it.

    Some people may not believe it but I used to be such a shitty artist, I got jealous of people who were better and copied their work, until someone confronted me.

    I started drawing for myself, not for others. And hey, look where I am now, might not be famous or anything but my art has improved so much.

    Be proud of yourself (:
     
    TheMint and Defectus like this.
  3. TheMint

    TheMint Former Mod+ Donator

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    What are you boys doing here on the forums? ahahah
    It's nice to see that you finally revealed it. It took me long enough to force you out of map making and start programming and I'm glad you did. I remember how depressed you were when all the stuff on Twitter happened and I'm glad you're over it now. I doubt you'll stay on the forums but it's nice to see you come back. You have to make mistakes to reach success, remember?
    I'm sure you will achieve great things in the next couple of years and in your future, just like you succeeded with Arrendor. Take care Defectus :)

    If you guys didn't realize btw, this guy is my brother.
     
  4. TheMint

    TheMint Former Mod+ Donator

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    I've been here for yearssss
    Didn't he tell you?
     
  5. ItsJerry

    ItsJerry DEAD SERVER!!! LMAO!!! Staff Member Owner

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    lol when I saw that pic of the MrGaretto tweet I suddenly realized something

    but wasn't completely sure so had to check it out first

    turns out we blocked you on jerryvsharry because you kept leaving annoying comments on our videos too
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2017
  6. Defectus

    Defectus I love my wife Donator

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    Looking back at my comments again, I think I wasn't trying to be negative towards any specific channel but I didn't realize how many unpleasant comments I posted on the same ones. I think I was like that for people in general.
    I apologize if I offended anyone because of this. My only excuse is that I wasn't trying to be directly offensive, which isn't really a valid argument anyway. I'm sure there's still a bit of that negativity in me, but I'll try to be more aware of it now.
     
    TreeKillerMan, ItsJerry and TheMint like this.