Ask Me Any Question in The Entirety of Existence and I Will Answer Truthfully

Hello Citizens of The J&H community,

I have been far too truthful here, and now almost everyone is aware of my true identity; that I am a hybrid between a Reptilian and a Naked Molerat.
The time has come that I share my intergalactic, temporal, and everlasting knowledge with the people of this community.

Ask me any questions about life, the universe, and everything, and I shall grant you the answer to the full extent of my knowledge.

I will see you on the other side of enlightenment,
A reptilian-molerat visitor from another world

 

Why is "The" capitalized in your thread title

 

I'm using official intergalactic grammar approved by the Alpha Centauri intergalactic council in 2079.

 

are earths memes good in comparison to the rest of the universe

 

Do you have a life?

 

Hello citizen of Earth,
Earth is the only planet that has created memes. In fact, earthlings have spent so much time creating memes that they are severely behind the rest of the civilizations in the universe. Memes are the reason why Earth is one of the few civilizations that have not yet developed intergalactic travel and also why so many residents of other planets choose to settle on it (yes, your weird neighbour that peeks in your windows when you're not looking is an alien). The rest of the universe is cold, humorless, and barren; mostly void, partially star.

Hello, strange, blue creature,
No, I do not currently reside in a physical form, if that is what you consider 'a life'. In your Earth terms, I have been dead for millions of years. I am currently a sentient group of particles scattered throughout the multiverse.

 

im assuming depression in the rest of the universe is a lot more common in comparison to earth?

 

What are you

 

is there a planet with mudkipz on it

 

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

 

what is existence?

 

Correct!
In fact, Earth is one of the last remaining civilizations in the universe. All the others have seen the paradoxical terror of existence and decided to destroy their domain within it. I'll tell you when the human species dies out if you'd like to know:

Spoiler: The date of the death of the human race

Spoiler: Are you sure you'd like to know?

Spoiler: Knowing could cause a temporal paradox and/or spontaneous combustion

Spoiler: Are you really really sure?

Spoiler: Are you sure you're really sure?

Spoiler: Ok, here we go!

Spoiler: 3

Spoiler: 2

Spoiler: 1

August 21st, 2017 was the day humanity fell.

I've told you several times. I am somewhat of a hybrid between a reptilian and a molerat, known more scientifically as a Reptirat from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius. However, to protect myself from being incinerated during the destruction of my planet, I had to separate the atoms of my physical sentience and scatter them across the multiverse.

I regret to inform you that the Mudkip race is no more. Roughly 10 light years ago, the entire Mudkip race evolved into Swamperts. They were then hunted for their warm and slippery pelts, which were widely distributed throughout the universe and used to create warm jackets and fashionable purses.

Ah, I see I have another fellow non-human residing on earth. You most likely already know the answer, but I will explain for those who do not.

The story of 6 and 7 traces back its roots to the dawn of existence itself. At the beginning of time, all of existence was comprised of five numbers: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. 1 and 2 got married and conceived the child 12. Later, 2 and 3 gave birth to the child 6. From 6 and 1 came the child 7. There was always something awry about 7. He always seemed to be distant, absentminded. At two years old, 7 was found gnawing on a bone that was later found to be the knee of 3 (whose dismembered body was discovered in the closet.).
"Don't worry, honey. It's just a phase!" 1 dismissed to her sobbing husband.

And that's why 6 was afraid of 7.

Hello concerned citizen,

I am happy to inform you that existence is simply a fabrication created by our benevolent overlord, Cthulhu, whose creation lies at the intersection of the interconnected and meaningless network of the sentience of the whole universe.

Have a nice day!

 

do u like peanutbutter?
i sure dont

 

This is gold. This is comedy, beautiful gold. I guess if I had to ask...

What (Earth) year were you born?
What do you look like in real life?
What is your favorite type of art?
What is your favorite food?
Why do you share this information with the J&H community when there are so many other communities to share it with?